Those vinegar and tablet kits were artistic enough

By Debbie Farmer

When I went to the store to purchase an Easter egg-dying kit for my family, the shelves were packed with so many different kinds I couldn't decide which one to buy. Sometime between my childhood and the '90s, the egg-dying process evolved from dropping a tablet into a cup of vinegar and water into swirling, spinning, or speckling eggs into Faberge re-creations.

I finally picked up the "tie-dye" coloring kit because the box had a picture of a smiling family decorating eggs and the words "fast" and "easy" written in big letters along the bottom.

The next day my children gathered around the kitchen table as I read the directions: Step one: Take contents out of box. No problem. Step two: Cut string into 8-inch pieces. I couldn't find the ruler, so I lined the string up against my shoe (a size 8) and snipped. Step three: Wrap string around egg. Tie ends securely. Place in dye.

I wound the piece of string around the egg as artistically as I could and lifted it to put it in the dye. My children watched in horror as the egg slid out of the string and cracked on the floor. I bet this never happened to the family on the box.

I picked up another egg, wrapped the string around it and fastened the ends with tape. I held my breath, leaned over, and slowly maneuvered it toward the dye. My 5-year-old daughter caught the egg as it sailed off the table.

"Mommy," she said "You're not doing it right."

I found the second part of the directions stuck inside the box.

Step four: Tie string by looping ends into two overhand square knots. Then tie ends in opposite directions to create an underhanded triangle knot or double both back over egg to create a decorative figure-eight. Place in dye.

When I finished reading, I felt I had a better chance of weaving all 12 eggs into a wall hanging for the living room than to wrap an 8-inch string securely around one of them. I threw the kit away, put the kids in the car, and went back to the store to purchase an easier kit.

This time I found the "Sponge Art" egg painting kit. I looked at the smiling family on the box suspiciously, but the instructions looked simple, and I use sponges every day, so I tossed it in my cart.

When we returned home, I gathered my children around the kitchen table and opened the box.

Step one: Cut large sponge into eight squares. No problem. I got my scissors and began to cut. I ended up with five large rectangles. Step two: Dip sponge in dye and pat egg.

My son began to cry because he couldn't fit his sponge into the container, while my daughter used hers to apply the red dye to her cheeks and lips.

I quickly cut the rectangles in half and ended up with 10 smaller rectangles--exactly the right size to fit up my 3-year old son's nostrils.

By the time I found the tweezers and took the sponge out of my son's nose, my daughter had eaten the eggs and wandered off to watch television looking like a hooker.

The next day I went back to the store and grabbed the last box of tablet dye off of the shelf and tossed a bottle of vinegar into my cart. My children gathered around the kitchen table and helped plop the colored tablets into the cups.

We watched them fizz and turn the water different colors. Then I passed out the eggs and wire holders.

I found a white crayon in the coloring box and showed them how to draw designs on the eggs before putting them in the dye.

When we were finished, my children admired their creations: 12 eggs in various shades of gray with tic-tac-toes and backwards letters--the same ones I used to make as a child.

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Readers can contact Debbie Farmer at: debbie@ecis.com

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