Photograph by Jacqueline Ramseyer
Mama Mia: The newborns and mothers of the 'Java Mamas' get lined up on a sofa at Orchard Valley Coffee for an impromptu photo session.
First-Time Moms
'Java Mamas' meet at coffeehouse to give new moms group support
By Moryt Milo
This Sunday, Mother's Day, the "Java Mamas" will be celebrating their debut, not as a hot new alternative rock group, as their name might suggest, but as a group for first-time moms.
The six women who comprise the core group gather twice a week for supportive get-togethers at Campbell's Orchard Valley Coffee.
Campbell resident Kim McPherson, 36, created the group when she discovered how easy it was to feel isolated as a new mother. Before the birth of her daughter, Jordyn, McPherson's base of friends were her co-workers, but after Jordyn's birth, McPherson realized she didn't have any friends with children and she shifted her relationships toward women experiencing first-time motherhood.
She met several members of the core group while taking prenatal yoga and classes for new moms and breastfeeding at Community Hospital of Los Gatos. During these classes, she relished her newfound companionship and discovered the importance of group support, which helped to alleviate her sense of isolation.
"Without a new-moms network to offer encouragement, it is easy to be sucked into staying at home and never getting out," she says.
McPherson thinks that a new mother shouldn't hesitate to sign up for some sort of class, whether it's a parenting, exercising or a breastfeeding class, because the experience benefits both the mother and the baby.
Feeling so strongly about the importance of her newfound camaraderie, and not wanting it to wane as the various classes ended, she took it to the next level and created a walking group.
She asked five new mothers if they wanted to meet regularly, with their babies, on Monday and Wednesday mornings for a walk on the Campbell Park par course at Gilman Avenue.
She chose the par course because it seemed family-oriented and a great location for mothers and babies in strollers. She also saw these three-mile walks as a way to help achieve physical and emotional well-being.
"If I didn't have the [morning walks and these women], I know I'd be depressed and feel very much alone," she says, "and that wouldn't be healthy for me, my baby or my husband."
This twice-a-week morning ritual ends with the mothers driving over to the coffeehouse, where they gather around a large table, comfortably nursing their babies and enjoying a beverage, snack and more conversation.
The stopover is a natural outgrowth of the women thoroughly enjoying each other's company.
"One day we finished our walk and didn't want to leave," said Java Mama and Willow Glen resident Kelley Fodor. "Kim knew a coffeehouse that was cozy and nearby, and she suggested we go there."
It didn't take long for the coffeehouse suggestion to seamlessly blend into the women's morning routine, and as time continued, the original group of six began inviting other friends who were also new mothers.
As the word spread, the group grew, with walks and coffee gatherings ranging from four to 10 mothers on any given day. Women eagerly meet to exercise, share stories, ask questions and compare notes.
"It has become a great resource for information," McPherson says.
Photograph by Jacqueline Ramseyer
Nursing Baby: Kim McPherson (right) feeds her daughter, Jordyn, 3 months old, at Orchard Valley Coffee, in Campbell, after a morning with the 'Java Mamas' on the Los Gatos Creek Trail. McPherson has joined the group of first-time moms who meet twice weekly to walk with their babies and then gather at the coffee house.
Many of the mothers recently joining heard about the group through Las Madres, a support network that arranges for new mothers to meet.
McPherson says that she senses many new mothers are lonely, and she invites them to join the Java Mamas.
"Almost everyone seems to be a transplant, with no family close by," she says. "I notice some new moms are depressed, so I welcome them into our group."
The group also provides the women with another important benefit, self-confidence.
Campbell resident and Java Mama Dawn Rundell, 30, was in sales for nine years before giving birth to her son, Ryan.
"The biggest challenge as a new mom is you don't know what the heck you are doing," she says. "But you trust your instincts and look for a group or organization and give it a try. It is very important to have that support."
During her pregnancy, Rundell met McPherson in a new child preparation class; she met another core group mom Jane Moynihan in Lamaze class.
"First we were pregnant together and then we got to share our babies together," she says. "It is a bond that continues to grow."
The group has also been a confidence builder for 43-year-old Moynihan.
Being an older first-time mom and having been part of management in the semiconductor industry for 20 years, she didn't feel she had anything in common with the younger women.
"My husband accused me of being an elitist," she says. "He told me, 'You have everything in common with these women.' "
It took time for Moynihan to transition into her new identity as a mother, but as she met other women, she says, "I quickly got over myself and realized [mothering] is my job now."
She credits the strong bonds she formed with the other new mothers as critical to helping her gain confidence and aiding her in accepting her new role.
"This is my identity," she says. "What I am doing now is embracing the whole experience of being a new mom and reveling in that and not being something else. It took me a long time to get to this point of [becoming a mother], so all this time is precious to me."
Moynihan says she eventually plans to go back to work, but wants to spend the next year with her 4-month-old son, Ciaran, before deciding on her career direction.
For Campbell resident Stephanie Cross, 29, another member of the Java Mamas, her direction is clear. She plans to be with 3-month-old Allison as much as possible.
Photograph by Jacqueline Ramseyer
Net Results: Katherine Winch (left), 4 months old, and Kurt Fischer, 3 months old, take all the attention in stride.
But she is also a respiratory therapist at Stanford Hospital and plans to return to work in June. Her employer allows for a flexible schedule. She will be able to work 12-hour shifts so Allison only has to be in day care twice a week.
"I want to hang on to my career," she says, "But I also want to have a good infant balance. My profession allows me to do that."
During her time off, the Java Mamas helped provide Cross with support, information and companionship.
Her family lives on the East Coast and she wasn't that familiar with the Campbell community, having worked in Palo Alto. It changed when she met McPherson.
"The group has brought me closer to the Campbell community," she says. "I've met other women who live in the community, who have similar issues, and it makes me feel a part of [the neighborhood]."
She indicates that she wants to continue the walking ritual even after returning to work.
Being a new mother was also a conscious life change for licensed clinical social worker and Willow Glen resident Jodi Fischer. She and her husband lived and worked in San Francisco for 14 years before moving to the South Bay two years ago.
Thirty-eight year old Fischer is also an older first-time mom; she wanted to step off the career path and become a parent.
"I loved what I did and am keeping my licenses current," she says. "But I felt ready to be a mom and wanted to put 100 percent into my career and feel fortunate I can do that as an older mom."
The group offered Fischer a new array of friends. She also had no immediate family in the area and found the group to be a wealth of information.
"We are all in the same boat and it feels comfortable asking each other questions," she says.
Kelley Fodor agrees, and adds, "When you are a new mom and no longer working, you feel very isolated and you look around and say, 'Now what? How do I meet people?' Your child becomes your membership card into a new group."
The group is still a bit in awe over its newfound responsibilities. Some members act giddy, with some quietly sitting, as they cuddle their babies in the coffeehouse.
"It's a strange feeling having a different title," Fodor says. "You are accustomed to being called a daughter or sister and now 'mother' has been added."
Although the new title sounds strange to some of these women, this Mother's Day will be especially meaningful because it is their first.
Fischer clearly spoke for the group when she said, "I'm thrilled to be part of the club now."
Campbell, California
