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Photograph by Kathy De La Torre
Marilyn and Bill Ferris, of Sunnyvale, both serve as mediators with the Santa Clara County Office of Human Relations. Mediations are sometimes held in this conference room at the Sunnyvale Recreation Center.
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Seniors find meaningful work in volunteer work
By RITA BAUM
Marilyn Ferris, a former fourth-grade teacher and currently a volunteer conflict mediator, opens each mediation session with the reassuring words that there are two sides to every story, and both sides are right. When the participants hear her point of view they visibly relax. The tension lifts as they sense that their views will be validated. Now they are ready for the ground-rules--respect, no interruptions and a serious effort to find a solution.
Ferris believes that they will find a resolution, and the conviction comes from 10 years experience as a volunteer mediator. The Sunnyvale resident is one of 95 volunteers trained at the conflict resolution department of the Santa Clara County Office of Human Relations. Volunteer mediators--more than half of them seniors--resolved 343 conflicts last year.
Conflict mediation work requires a serious commitment from the volunteers. They must agree to attend and pay for five all-day training sessions over two weekends. The training, held at the county sheriff's office, includes lectures, role-play and practice situations. Finally, they must work with an experienced mediator for approximately 15 hours, before being matched with a complementary volunteer to work as a team.
Once fully trained, volunteers resolve one to four conflicts each month and attend four three-hour follow-up training sessions a year. Disputes from all areas of the county fall into the categories of neighbor-to-neighbor, offender-victim, juvenile offender-victim, parent-teen, and small claims court. More experienced volunteers mediate disputes referred by the Superior Court. Mediators act as facilitators, and don't give advice.
What motivates people to volunteer, often after a lifetime of hard work raising families and of employment? "When you see them come to an agreement and solution, it's really neat" says Marilyn. "And it's not unusual for a rapport to develop between the previously disputing parties," she adds. "Like the older couple who were disturbed by the neighbor's band practicing in the garage for long hours after their bedtime. The musicians worked at other jobs during the day so they could only practice at night. But the situation was resolved during the mediation session, when the older man offered to help his musician neighbor insulate his garage, and the two walked out, chatting like old friends about the materials they would need for the project."
Seniors, who come to volunteer, work with a lifetime of experience behind them and a willingness to learn and be trained in a new field. Most volunteers say that when they help someone, they get back more than they give. Research has proven that volunteering brings physical and psychological benefits, and increases life expectancy. It keeps people from becoming isolated, depressed or dwelling on negative thoughts. Scientists tell us that these activities activate endorphins in the brain, giving us a sense of well being.
Bill Ferris gets satisfaction from volunteering as a conflict mediator, too. He agrees with Marilyn that communication is the key. Bill has mediated in each type of conflict, including assisting at small claims court. For him, the most challenging and satisfying dispute resolutions are between parent and teen, usually where the teen is in trouble and has been referred by the juvenile justice department. "Conflict Resolution is a great community service because court costs can be expensive and the mediation outcome can be more satisfying," he explains.
Bill, who retired a year ago from electrical power research work, also volunteers with Habitat for Humanity of Silicon Valley, building houses for very low income people. Since he works alongside an experienced house builder, he can do most jobs without previous experience, he says.
Most nonprofit organizations could not provide the types and quantity of community services they do without volunteers. In fact, many nonprofit organizations say they would not be able to operate without volunteers.
Vital, healthy seniors have long been recognized as a major untapped community resource, and Silicon Valley seniors do their share. Los Gatos neighbors Eleanor Butt, a lifelong homemaker, and Bob Hersch, a retired physician, wave to one another as they back out of their driveways. As usual, she is on her way to volunteer at the Los Gatos Community Hospital, and he is on his way to Willow Glen's Live Oak Adult Day Care Center, where he serves on the board of directors.
Another Los Gatan, Harvey Sanner, has been giving back to the community since he retired 10 years ago. Harvey, a CPA, worked as a corporate tax consultant, traveling all over the United States. Now, he is one of 80 volunteers (very few of them with accounting backgrounds) helping out at the San Jose Office on Aging, an agency which prepares about 2000 free tax returns each season at community centers for people, age 60 and older. "One man had not filed taxes for three years before going to prison, but he got tax help from us after his release" recalls Harvey. "He just made the filing deadline, and he got a refund to boot! The man has stayed out of trouble, and he comes in every year for help."
Harvey gets satisfaction from working directly with the people he is helping. "The people are so appreciative," he says. Some want to pay him for his help, "those who can least afford it," but volunteers can not accept payment for their work. "One man and his daughter both came in for help, and the father insisted that each volunteer accept a bottle of homemade wine and a jar of homemade honey." Harvey has also served as the treasurer on the board of Friends of Los Gatos Library.
American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) also recruits and trains volunteers to do tax preparation services for people over age 60. More than any other country, America is a nation of volunteers. Just as our country helps other nations in need, our citizens give 10 to 12 unpaid hours a month to benefit others. Forty four percent of people, 55 and over, volunteer an average of 4.4 hours per week to causes they support. People, ages 30 to 49, do a large and important share of volunteering, too, especially for the benefit of school-age children. By age 75 and older, 35 percent of Americans work as volunteers. All together Americans volunteer about 5.5 billion hours valued at more than $70.5 billion a year. Statistics tell us that higher income, or more highly educated, individuals volunteer the most and more than 50 percent of volunteers are churchgoers. And statistics don't count the people who just help their elderly neighbors by picking up groceries. or fixing a broken screen door.
Why bother? As volunteer mediator Marilyn Ferris says, "It's a shot in the arm for everyone."
Rita Baum has a master's degree in gerontology. She has worked for more than 20 years in the field of aging
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Cupertino, California Since 1947
