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Hey, Cupertino teens, lighten up
By LEE KUCERA
At my daughter's 16th birthday party last summer, one of her friends asked me what the smooth poured frosting on her birthday cake is called. I told her it's ganache. What? "Ganache," I repeated. Then (jokingly) I added, "It's an SAT vocabulary word. Log it in." And I looked up to see six young faces frozen with fear. I'm not kidding.
I should have known better than to joke about the SAT to teenagers in Cupertino. Our affluent, well-educated community is obsessive about college admission, and the kids have caught our fear. Five points less on the Scholastic Aptitude Test may mean (heaven save us) being denied admission to Berkeley.
In communities like ours, college admission is an industry. Professional college counselors charge (and are gladly paid) $110 an hour. Report card grades are deadly serious. We measure what kids have learned in class by a fraction of a single percent, and we tell them that mediocre SAT scores will have drastic, permanent, dire consequences for their future. More than a few are harshly punished for getting an A minus on a single test.
Well, it's nonsense. I've seen too many examples that prove that undergraduate college admission is only a tiny blip on the screen that reflects an entire life.
Our nephew dropped out of Berkeley High in his senior year, worked and traveled for a few years, entered the University of California, and left with six units remaining to graduation. To his mother's chagrin, he joined the Navy. He has had a distinguished (albeit dangerous) 15-year career as an elite Navy Seal, and he truly loves his work. My sister-in-law left school when she was 16 to get married and have a baby. She was the mother of three small children before she was 25, and I wouldn't have put a nickel on her future. Two weeks before her 35th birthday, she received her degrees in law and jurisprudence, and was appointed the first female federal prosecuting attorney in the state of Western Australia. The three children are responsible, independent, delightful young adults.
What am I suggesting? That I would recommend becoming a mom at 16? Decidedly not. My sister-in-law is a remarkable person, and the fact that she was able to turn that tenuous beginning into a happy ending is a rare accomplishment. Do I mean that grades are irrelevant, or that flunking out of high school is OK? No.
I'm suggesting that an 18-year old's admission to a university is not necessarily any indicator of where he or she may end up 20 years down the line. Most kids that age have a very long road ahead, and there are numerous, multiple pathways to a good life. Each one is on his or her own journey, and we need to respect that journey.
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Cupertino, California Since 1947
