As Indian Muslims growing up in the United States, Mea and Pathan's meeting, engagement and wedding were a mix of Muslim, Indian and Western traditions.

While Mea, 27, wore a simple black suit, Patha, 24, wore traditional Pakistani clothes with a purple sharara—a long flowing skirt and blouse—and a dupatta, a scarf to cover her head. The sharara and dupatta were both elaborately embroidered with golden strings and beads. Patha's hands and arms were decorated with gold bracelets and mehndi, a temporary body art created by applying henna paste.

While the couple sat on a couch, smiling at the camera of their wedding photographer, about 58 family members took turns taking pictures with them.

Although more than 400 people showed up, the wedding banquet was considered small in scale.

"In India, it is a custom to invite the whole village to your wedding," said Pathan's brother-in-law Mohammed Arshadullah. "I had my wedding in India, and the whole town, about 2,000 people, came. But it would be very expensive if you invited all of San Jose."

Like most Indians and Muslims, Mea and Pathan were introduced through a family friend. Since marriage is considered a family thing, following tradition, Mea's mother, Maimuna, first invited Pathan's family to her house in Fremont. Then Pathan's mother, Shamim, invited Mea's family to her house in Sunnyvale for dinner.

The mutual affection between Mea and Pathan is considered important, but the harmony between the two families is also important.

The Pathans emigrated from India to the United States in 1982. Pathan's uncle, Nisar Shaikh, came to study at Stanford University, and after he received his doctorate in mechanical engineering, he sponsored the rest of his family to America. Now the Pathans have more than 65 relatives living in the Bay Area. Most of them live in Cupertino and Sunnyvale.

The Meas are from India, too. They moved to London first and immigrated to the United States in 1986. They now live in Fremont.

Since they first met, Pathan and Mea kept seeing each other but always with the company of a third party because Muslims are encouraged not to meet with the opposite sex alone.

At their mangn, or engagement ceremony, Pathan and Mea exchanged gifts of clothing, toiletries, sweets and rings. Mea also followed the tradition of placing a sweet in Pathan's mouth because the bride's mouth should be sweet for this happy occasion.

Mea said he likes Pathan for her easygoing and thoughtful personality.

"She is always looking out for me," Mea said. "She is brave and honest."

On Dec. 8, Mea and Pathan held their religious wedding, nikah, at the mosque of the Islamic Center in Santa Clara.

"Nikah means 'to unite' in Arabic," said Mea's best friend, Galib Haswarey. "In Islam, marriage is a lifelong contract between a man and a woman. It is considered an act of ibadat, which means 'devotion to God,' and muamalat, which means 'dealing among people.' "

Like all Muslim ceremonies, the nikah was performed with men and women seated in two separated rooms. A qazi, a law officer, presided over the ceremony. He appointed two men as witnesses on the groom's behalf. Before reading a selected piece from the Koran in front of the witnesses and the qazi, a Muslim priest, called an Imam, asked Pathan's father, Ayub, if he had Pathan's consent. Mea was asked the same question. With both families' consent, the marriage was registered.

The contract was first signed by the groom and the two witnesses. Then the priest and Ayub went to the women's room, where Ayub asked Pathan once again whether she agreed to marry Mea. The registration part of nikah ended with Pathan's confirmation of her will. The contract contains rules that both husband and wife must respect. It also gives the wife the right to divorce her husband.

"People have the misconception that Muslim women don't have freedom in choosing their husbands," Pathan says. "In fact, Muslim women have the right to refuse the man their family arranges for them."

After the registration ceremony, Mea was also taken to the women's room. He gave money and gifts to Pathan's sisters and friends and received blessings in return. Then dinner was served.

After their first meal, Mea and Pathan could finally sit together with the Koran between them. A long scarf covered their heads while the priest had them read prayers. Dried dates and sweets were served to the guests.

Also on the day of nikah, elder members of both families decided the amount of meher, a nuptial gift that the groom's family gives to the bride.

Photograph by Sean Penello Sumiya Kahn (left) makes some final adjustments to Zakia Pathan's bridal outfit before the photographer begins taking pictures.

"Mehndi is an Indian, not an Islamic tradition," said Pathan's sister, Azra. "It signifies happiness and beautification of the bride."

The rukshat day is when the bride's family formally bids farewell to the bride. Ayub gave Pathan's hand to Mea and told him to protect and take care of Pathan. Traditionally the couple's next stop would be the husband's house or their new house. But since Mea and Pathan's friends gave them a gift to stay in a hotel for three days, they went to the hotel instead. Upon Pathan entering the hotel room, Mea's mother held a Koran over her to protect the new bride.

The two families finally became one at valimah, where friends and relatives from both sides celebrated the wedding.

With 400-plus guests, it was a festive scene. Children played hide-and-seek under the tables. Relatives and friends who had not seen each other for a long time took the opportunity to renew their friendship. Mothers who had single sons scrutinized the female guests, looking for an ideal bride for their sons. The guests' clamour was so loud that it overwhelmed Salah Pathan's farewell wedding song for his niece, Pathan.

But Mea and Pathan were indifferent to the chaos. On the most important day of their life, they were a beautiful and happy couple.