On the other side of the globe, a Cupertino couple, Tom and Patricia Zimmerman, were considering adopting a girl. The Zimmermans already had a biological son, Matthew, but Patricia had always wanted to have a daughter.

Eventually, Valentina and the Zimmermans would meet. But it would be a long and arduous journey.

Valentina's journey was shaped by the Ukraine's dire economic conditions following the fall of the Soviet Union. Poverty and its attendant problems of poor health, alcoholism, mental illness and myriad other conditions have contributed to hundreds of thousands of children either being abandoned or legally relinquished.

Patricia, who has always been fascinated by the Russian culture and language, saw the need and wanted to provide a home for Russian orphans. Tom was hesitant at first but over time accepted Patricia's idea. "To have a child through pregnancy is not important to me," Patricia says. "There are so many good children out there. I want to give them a home."

After extensive research, the Zimmermans decided to adopt a Ukrainian child. The Ukraine is on the western tip of Russia, and the culture and language are very similar to Russia. The Zimmermans chose San Francisco­based Russian Adoption Facilitation Services as their agency in August of 1999.

The Ukraine encourages her own people to adopt. An abandoned child like Valentina must wait a year either to be claimed by family members or adopted by Ukrainians before becoming eligible for foreign adoption. Ukrainians are always given first choice, even if a foreign adoption is in progress.

But despite government encouragement, Ukrainians are not adopting many children these days. This has put the Ukraine in the position of handing her children over for international adoption. And with all the fear and trepidation of any mother, the Ukraine has changed her mind and closed her doors from time to time and even changed her laws.

Still, Americans today are adopting more children from former Soviet Union countries than from any other foreign country. Last year, more than 7,500 children were adopted by American families. And it is in higher-income areas like the Bay Area that so many of these children are finding homes.

The Zimmermans could see the work ahead of them, but they thought the effort was worth it. They filled out a form for the Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) asking for approval to bring an immigrant into the country.

Then they began gathering personal records for the Ukrainian authorities to approve them for adoption.

There was a home study by a social worker who met with them several times. The couple handed over medical exam records, birth certificates, marriage certificates, a copy of their property deed, criminal record checks, proof of employment, tax statements for the previous two years, a statement of intent to support the child, and more. Everything was notarized and apostilled (special authorization from Sacramento for documents used in foreign counties).

There would be fees for the home study, the INS, the adoption facilitator's travel to and from the Ukraine, the translation of documents, foreign government fees, the Zimmermans' travel expenses to, from and within the Ukraine, payment to the home where they would stay in the Ukraine and a donation to the orphanage. The total can amount to some $25,000 when everything is done.

After the INS granted the approval, the adoption agency told them a 3-year-old Ukrainian girl named Valentina was available. The medical records showed that Valentina seemed healthy and well taken care of. But it also showed she had meningitis when she was 6 months old. Meningitis is an infection of the fluid of a person's spinal cord and the fluid that surrounds the brain. The illness can cause serious long-term neurological complications, such as deafness, blindness, speech loss or brain damage.

"We were not looking for a perfect child," Patricia says. "People have this widespread belief that biological children are perfect and adopted children are flawed. That's not true. Children are children. She has a problem we can deal with. Why should we reject her simply because she is not perfect?"

The Zimmermans wanted Valentina. But they had to wait two months for travel arrangements.

Waiting was difficult because the Zimmermans had already bonded with Valentina. "We were worried about changes in the law that might affect the adoption," Patricia says. "We also felt that we were responsible for her."

In June of 2000, they traveled to the Ukraine and met Valentina for the first time. Although Valentina, like many institutionalized children, was mentally delayed, possibly because of lack of stimulation, the Zimmermans fell in love with her right away.

After getting the court's approval, the Zimmermans returned to their Cupertino home at the end of June with Valentina. They remodeled their home so Valentina would have her own room with a garden view. They hired a Russian nanny so Valentina could keep in touch with her Eastern European heritage.

Despite their preparations, it was not an easy adjustment for the Zimmermans. In the first few months, Valentina followed her orphanage schedules strictly. She woke up at 5 a.m. and wanted the Zimmermans to play with her. She regressed because of changes in her environment.

Although Valentina's medical record was thorough, the Zimmermans didn't realize that Valentina is allergic to milk and beef. Valentina is also seeing a therapist twice a week for delayed speech. The Zimmermans feel hurt when some of their friends imply Valentina is mentally retarded. "It was quite a struggle," Patricia says.

The situation the Zimmermans faced was not unique. Families adopting older children have to deal with many adjustment issues.

Sunnyvale residents Mark and Judy Rowlee adopted Julia from Russia two years ago, when Julia was 6.

Like Valentina, Julia followed her orphanage routine. Growing up in an orphanage, Julia was not used to eating a whole piece of meat. So the Rowlees cut her steak into small pieces and cook it in a stew or soup. The Rowlees also make sure one of them is always with Julia to give her a sense of security.

"She likes to take inventory," says Judy, 47. "Even though Julia knows we are around, she needs reassurance from us by calling out our names and getting a response from us."

Otherwise, Julia fits in pretty well. She wanted to be a Russian princess for her first Halloween. She was Minnie Mouse for her second Halloween. Now one of her favorite idols is Britney Spears. "Julia is a lovely child," Mark says. "We seem to see the world for the first time through her eyes."

One potential problem with adopting older children is "reactive attachment disorder," where children have difficulty bonding with and trusting other people. This can be especially true for children who have lived their early years in an institution or who have been moved from foster home to foster home.

Willow Glen resident Amy Hughes and her husband, Howard Koch, know how difficult it can be to bond with these once-neglected children. They adopted two Russian children--Andrey, 7, and his sister, Raisa, 4--in May of 2001.

"Andrey had a lot of anger and resentment because of the old orphanage he lived in, and he wasn't close to his mother," Hughes says. "For the first five months, he wouldn't even let me touch his head or tap his shoulder."

But little by little, Hughes' patience won Andrey's heart.

"The most pivotal moment was one day in the bathtub, he leaned over, hugged me and told me he did love me," Hughes says.

As one of the couple's friends says, Andrey, after two years of adjusting to American life, has transformed from "an unhappy child with brief moments of happiness" to "a happy child with brief moments of unhappiness."

Some older children just want to bid farewell to their past.

Ralph Flynn, owner of the Coffee Society coffee shop, adopted Denis from Russia in October of 2002 when Denis was 9. While Flynn wants to take Denis to Russian festivals hosted by such organizations as Families of Russian and Ukrainian Adoption, Denis shows little interest. "Denis probably doesn't want people to know he was a poor Russian orphan," Flynn says. "He wants other people to think of him as an American boy."

Identity crisis is the last thing the Zimmermans worry about for Valentina. They just want her to be happy and healthy. With their care, Valentina has become an energetic girl who wants to follow her brother, Matthew, everywhere he goes. She is always eager to show her affection.

"It is clear to us that she will be fine one day," Patricia says. "We just feel so happy that she has brought so much joy into our life."

Support resources: Happy Families International, http://www.happyfamilies.org. Families of Russian and Ukrainian Adoption, 650.941.9497 or http://www.frua.org.