For one key group, however, such messages fly in the face of tradition.

The activist group Asian Americans for Community Involvement says that with a subject that is already difficult to talk about, this issue is particularly difficult for Asians to discuss. They consider it a private matter.

AACI has discovered, however, that domestic violence has become a serious issue for Asian Americans. Of 21 domestic-violence related deaths in Santa Clara County last year, Asian Americans had the second highest number of all ethnicities—six. Latinos are first with seven.

In an effort to reach out to Asian women, the nonprofit group has used several methods, including seminars in Cupertino.

In their latest attempt, the group's members hope to reach more than ever by gathering stories by Asian women who have experienced abuse and publishing them in a book. The group wants to let these women know that they are not alone as well as give them advice on how to deal with the situation.

Because of Cupertino's large Asian population, AACI has done a great deal of work in the city and is currently looking for Asian American women who have been in these relationships to come forward and share their stories for the book.

The AACI group as a whole hosts a variety of different events, ranging from community fundraisers, to performances, to networking for community members, but has created a special subsection on domestic violence to focus specifically on Asian American women who are victims of abuse.

The group's members hope that the book will reach a large number of women and offer them an insider's perspective.

"This is a great way for women to help others who are in their situation," said Charu Aggarwal, a domestic-violence community educator for AACI.

AACI has sponsored several events at De Anza College at which they offered group counseling for battered women and children.

Last year the group offered the seminar "Eating Tofu," an open forum to help Asian American women who have been abused talk freely.

"No one likes to speak up about these problems, especially in Asian communities," said Melissa Luke, who works with the program.

She said that is why the new book will target Asian Pacific communities.

She said for Asian Americans, this is a very private problem, and people will choose to remain silent about it rather than bring attention to themselves.

Santa Clara County offers a variety of services for abused women and children, including an Asian Women's Home, which can be contacted by those in need.

However, the AACI chooses to seek out the women and deliver the message to them directly.

"Sometimes we work with people who speak different languages," Luke said. "We had a Chinese family night in Mandarin."

Of the 5,393 domestic violence cases filed in Santa Clara County in 2003, some 2,020 victims suffered visible or serious injuries, and 1,212 of the cases took place with children present; 1,737 cases were cleared with no charge issued.

Women who would like to donate their story to the book or who would like to contact the AACI can call 408.975.2730.