Los Gatos Weekly-Times

Many in community hide behind a 'code of silence'

Pressure to achieve often turns local youths to drugs

By Shari Kaplan

Young people in Los Gatos are as much at risk from drug use as youths in any other community. The difference is that, in Los Gatos, it's often pressure to achieve, rather than economic strife or absentee parents, that often push kids into drug use.

A panel of counselors, cops, educators and kids and parents who'd "been there" advised parents not to stick their heads in the sand if they fear their children are using drugs. And they told parents that the "code of silence" prevalent in our community is one of the greatest dangers to the community's young people.

"When Good Kids Make Bad Decisions"--a question-and-answer forum on drug and alcohol use and abuse--was held recently at Fisher Middle School for parents of school-age children, educators and members of the community.

Hosted by Community Against Substance Abuse and Fisher Middle School, the forum included a broad spectrum of speakers who shared experiences, answered questions and made suggestions.

There were several CASA representatives and a panel consisting of a teenage girl who had "been there" in terms of substance abuse and recovery; a parent who had "been there" with her teenage son; two Los Gatos police officers; a Triad-On-Campus counselor and licensed therapist and a middle-school teacher.

"Drug usage isn't someone else's problem, and there isn't just one person to blame or just one answer for it," said Christine Jenkins, who teaches the Skills for Adolescence program at Fisher Middle School.

She explained that, in many communities, low incomes, single parenting and a family history of substance abuse contribute to children getting involved in drugs, a community like Los Gatos has a different risk factor: the high educational and social expectations some parents have for their children, which may lead children to try drugs as a way of dealing with pressures.

Triad-On-Campus counselor Andrea Woods said she has seen some students become "almost neurotic" about maintaining high levels of achievement. This worries her, she said, because students sometimes turn to crank (methamphetamines) for the "super energy" needed to stay up late doing homework, participate in extracurricular activities or go to work.

Many audience questions were directed toward the 17-year-old (who preferred that her name not be used). She spoke about a downward spiral begun by her use of alcohol and marijuana, after which came LSD and crank. She spoke of her rebellion and disrespect for her family and her eventual recovery, which included many months of rehabilitation and counseling. But it did not come until her family moved out of denial, she said.

"My point of reality was so off track. It saved my life; if I didn't do that, I'd be dead," she said of her rehabilitation. She added that she didn't even realize her life had hit "rock bottom" until about two months into rehab, when she had detoxified.

A mother whose teenage son battled an addiction with marijuana agreed with the girl that teenagers using drugs often display a "vicious" type of rebellion.

"You can't just chalk it up to adolescence," she said. She recommended that parents trust their intuition and act on it if they think something is wrong with their children.

LGPD Officer Tim Morgan, who has been involved in drug stings at Los Gatos High School and calls himself a "quasi-expert" on narcotics, said that in some cases, marijuana is a "gateway drug" from which young people move on to more potent substances. He warned parents not to stick their heads in the proverbial sand if they fear their children are using drugs. He mentioned that methamphetamine is particularly popular with young people because its cost has been driven down by overproduction.

The mother of a kindergartner expressed concern about how old her daughter should be before the family talks to her about drugs.

Woods replied that although a 5-year-old would probably not understand the social and legal implications of drug use, it's a good idea to establish a fluid relationship grounded in listening and actually talking with children before they reach their teenage years. Otherwise, peer pressure and the temptation to experiment may step in before parents can.

"My hope tonight when you walk out that door is that you'll think, 'It could happen in my family, too,' " said CASA newsletter editor Nancy Offer, who helped organize the forum.

"Whether or not your child uses drugs, drug use affects everyone in the community. The code of silence that's present in our community is killing our kids--sometimes almost literally."

CASA holds monthly meetings, a support group called "A Safe Place for Parents" and sponsors community activities focused on healthy lifestyles. For more information, call CASA Chairwoman Kathie Friedland at 395-6809 or Nancy Offer at 353-4600.