Los Gatos Weekly-Times Photograph by George Sakkestad Five-year-old Natalie Kimmey gets help from her mother, Lisa Kimmey, scanning a stuffed animal for the gift registry at Toys R Us. Shop Talk Practical types ask: Why leave gift-giving decisions to chance? By Sandy Sims A British psychologist has found that Christmas shopping can actually be hazardous to a man's health. He learned this by monitoring the heart rate and blood pressure of a large group of men and women shoppers. While the women seemed to take the chore in stride with little change in their vital signs, the males' heart rate and blood pressure raised considerably, some to the level of a fighter pilot going into combat. He noticed, too, that as a result of this stress, men buy the first gift they see and flee the stores. That could be hazardous to a marriage. For those husbands, sons, fathers and boyfriends out there storming red-faced and anxiety-ridden through malls, it looks as if help is on the way in the form of gift registries--a very old idea brought up to date with modern technology and a new appreciation for things practical. Home Depot, REI and Sears are just three examples of gift registries for all occasions--and for all tastes. These three actually have registries that include listings for birthdays, anniversaries, house warmings and Christmas. Home Depot will create a list for any event, even Father's Day. Anyone can run down to the store and make a computerized list of all the things he or she would like, and tell family and friends, who can then run down and get a printout of the list. If teenager Billy registers a Christmas list at the REI store in El Paseo de Saratoga, Grandpa can stroll down to REI in Seattle, get a printout of the list and buy Billy (who's impossible to shop for) a new pup tent, just the one he wants. There's even a gift registry at Toys R Us. Now children don't have to sit down and painstakingly write out a letter to Santa. They don't have to rely on their tiny memories to get all they want on the list. They can zap their way through the local Toys R Us store with what looks like a ray gun, pointing at any Barbie doll, Match-Box car, BB gun, bicycle, Hot Wheels and baseball mitt they want. The gun registers the bar code's SKU number and voila! The list is stored in a computer that serves the entire country, maybe even the North Pole. However, the list isn't prioritized. (Maybe the child should still send a special list to Santa asking for the most important gift.) For now the concept of a gift registry for Christmas is just here and there, but in the next year or two, this may blossom into a whole new venue for wish lists. Is this the latest in crass commercialism or just a high-tech way for letting our loved ones know all we want for Christmas--or maybe both? As a matter of fact, the idea's not really so new. The original gift registry began for pretty much the same reasons that registries are expanding today--convenience and smart business. In 19th-century France, with growing railroad access, people were moving in or out of Paris, far from family and friends. Marriages among distant aristocratic families became common, which made it difficult to get wedding gifts to the bride. In 1856, the exclusive French department store Pavillon Christofle, found it was getting more and more requests via telegraph (pretty high-tech) to deliver the wedding gifts. They also found that the requests often didn't match up with what they knew to be the tastes of the bride. So Christofle set up a program for parents to decide on the bride's trousseau and discuss the bride's tastes. The parents then would trust the store's bridal consultants to guide the gift requests accordingly. Thus began the bridal registry. Our society is even more mobile today. We've gone beyond telegraphs and trains to computers and airplanes and to big chains stores located everywhere in the United States, and some internationally as well. Christofle's is no exception. It now has stores all over the world. So the idea of gift registries is expanding. It wasn't so very long ago--less than 10 years--that "where are you registered?" meant "at which store can I find your choice of china, crystal and silver registered?" Some bright systems-analyst must have thought: Why limit the list to china and silver? With computers, we can give customers a list that ranges from Haviland china to plastic salad spoons. At one time, the bride could only register at the local store. That same bright young analyst or maybe a bright old one saw that stores could connect the bride's list via computer to all the stores in the chain. That meant Aunt Marge in Toledo could go to Macy's and print out the list punched in at Valley Fair by bride Julie. Another new wrinkle in the gift registry phenomenon is the practical bent of many of today's young couples. Rather than limiting wedding guests to fine china and silver at the exclusive stores, they're increasingly offering options that are practical and which give their guests a wide range in cost. "Half of our shoppers are here for the bridal registry," Adriane Gutierrez, sales associate at Pier I, explains. "People buying for a wedding sometimes think the dish patterns and colors are a little weird," she says. Everything's on the registry, from napkins to furniture, even some of the store's unusual ethnic head carvings. Speaking of furniture, Sana Salem, home furnishings consultant at Breuners, says she's been trying to get Breuners to start a bridal registry. "People come in and ask for one all the time," she explains. Salem took action on her own and set up a personal registry for one bride. The bride's family members came in and asked for Salem, and she pointed the way to the bride's dream bedroom set. "The newlyweds got a poster bed, night stand, dresser and mirror," she recalls. Another sales consultant explained that years ago, Breuners actually did have a bridal registry, but that was back when the store sold china and linens, and when it was owned by the original family. Salem is still working on the idea with Breuners' head honchos. Many modern couples are just plain moving away from the notion of asking for crystal and fine china. In fact, some couples have a difficult time with the whole idea of wedding registries and are opting for a compromise. Bride Gina Stump registered at Target because a friend of hers told her about relatives being grateful for inexpensive gift choices and stores that are conven-iently located. In fact, there are 851 Target stores in 41 states. Stump's bridegroom says, "We registered there because we're cheap and unpretentious." Ron Gard, who grew up in Saratoga, is a little more philosophical about it. He says he and his bride, Betsy, registered at Target because they had a hard time with what they feel is the commercialism in weddings today. Target was a kind of compromise between the old high falutin' registry and offering their guests some kind of gift choice. Couples registering in Target's "Club Wedd" ("Tar-jais" for those who prefer a more sophisticated French sound) list items from TV tables, blenders and muffin pans to others that are downright strange. In fact, says, Kristin Knach, Target public relations representative, Target has come up with a list of its top five untraditional items: Cheetos and Pepperidge Farm goldfish crackers, dog food, car-care products, cases of Coke and Pepsi and a lawn mower--a far cry from traditional crystal and china. Today's practical-minded gift recipients might even invite gift-givers to help them get to China. Wedding guests can actually help with the honeymoon because travel agencies have joined the flock of registries. Marilyn Gum, travel agent at Los Gatos' Travel Advisors, says their agency has created a registry for a few couples who have booked their honeymoon through Travel Advisors. Family and close friends can then come to the agency and buy gift certificates for specific items: perhaps a helicopter tour over the Mauna Loa volcano in Hawaii or one night at the honeymooner's hotel, or they can plunk down some bucks toward the overall cost of the honeymoon. A major sign of changing times is that the bridal registry is no longer just for the bride. Home Depot's wedding registry is definitely geared toward the bridegroom. Christopher Ward and Jennifer Borlase (who grew up in Los Gatos) signed up at Home Depot with a list that included a circular saw, a claw hammer and an electric hedge trimmer. Borlase's mother, a Los Gatos resident, says, "I love the idea. I even suggested they list something they really need, like a length of fence." Home Depot's bridal--er--groom registry has even spread to the stars. When Ted Danson registered at Home Depot, Jay Leno bought him a toilet. Getting down to ... well, to beat all, there's the Northern Nevada Home buyers Bridal Registry listed on the Internet. Two real estate agents have started a program approved by the Department of Housing and Urban Development in 1996 that sets the blissful couple up in a new home. One agent helps find the house, the other sets up the financing. The wedding guests give money toward the down payment. Maybe this isn't such a bad idea for couples trying to make it in Silicon Valley. For the bride and groom who have wide interests and tastes that don't suit any particular store, there's the Internet Bride-To-Be Registry. The engaged couple can set up a Web page with a picture of their blushing selves. The page includes their choices and the stores that carry them, as well as phone numbers and catalog numbers--all the vital information. For example, the couple might want the Retroneu china service for eight from Penneys and a king-size nordic fleece comforter from Land's End, or the Rottweiler computer screensaver from DogSaver. All the gift giver has to do is call the store number, give the particulars, and the gift is sent off to the bride. The company will send a printout of the list to those who don't have computers. This last registry suggests where we might be headed, a personal registry that is an all-encompassing wish list. Everyone has a wish list; maybe we'll eventually see everyone's personal wish list on the Internet. Lists that include a dream safari to Kenya, expensive French perfume at Christofle's, a pit-bull puppy, the new Star Wars communicator--and of course, the vital stats, including where things can be found and the proper sizes and colors. Many things, of course, can be ordered right from the Internet. But, with those anxiety-ridden male shoppers in mind, it's advisable that the most desired item be put at the top of the list. Chances are, no matter how easy shopping becomes, those same men who approach shopping as if they're going into battle will still choose the first item on the list and get out as fast as they can. [ Back to Contents Page | Los Gatos Weekly-Times Home Page | Archives ] This article appeared in the Los Gatos Weekly-Times, December 23, 1998. ©1998 Metro Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved.