Family Daze
Father spends quality time getting the Blazer airborne
By Debbie Farmer
This year my children's Indian Guide troop sponsored a family kite-flying picnic at a nearby park. This meant 1) spring had finally arrived, 2) I'd get to spend some relaxing quality time outdoors with my family, and 3) my husband would wait until the last minute to pick out a new kite.
I admit I expected him to rush to the grocery store and buy the same old $1.50 kite we had every year. So you can imagine how shocked I was when, this year, he returned with "The Blazer."
Now to those of you unfamiliar with kites, this likely conjures up the image of an oversized suit jacket with shoulder pads or a Sports Utility Vehicle. But I'm not that lucky. Oh, nooooo. The Blazer is, in fact, a dual-line high performance, aerodynamic stunt kite, which--according to the label--swoops, loops and dives.
Oh, it looked spiffy enough, but there was one particular drawback: the Blazer came in about a bazillion pieces. Possibly more. Clearly, this wasn't a last-minute-type of kite.
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" I asked, as my husband arranged the pieces on the floor.
"Of course," he said. "We're going to have the best kite in the whole park. Just bring me the hammer and the duct tape."
By dinnertime, the pieces were strewn around the living room as if there had been some sort of aeronautical explosion.
"Why is daddy saying all those bad words?" my daughter asked.
Now, I'm just going to stop right here and say that everybody knows that things would've gone a lot differently if mothers had been in charge. Yes-siree. There would've been lively discussions on the color of the kite several weeks in advance, followed by the activation of the phone tree to trigger off a volley of calls regarding the most practical shape, the best type of string and where, exactly, to get the best price on sale.
But, getting back to our kite.
When we arrived at the park the next morning, I made a momentous personal decision not to make fun of it. As it turned out, however, I didn't need to because I was struck dumb by the sight of an entire sky filled with duct-taped flying sailboats. Clearly, I don't need to tell you what's going on here.
My husband led us out into the field and proudly handed my daughter the kite as he unraveled the string.
"Just hang onto it until I yell 'go'," he said as he backed up.
"Okay!" he shouted, "Go!"
My daughter tossed it upwards. Everyone, including my husband, looked amazed as it took off into the air.
"Cool!" my daughter said. "Can I try it? Please?"
"OK." He reluctantly handed the line to her.
She held the kite for a few seconds, then gave the line back to my husband, and ran towards the play area on the other side of the park.
"Hey, watch this!" He pulled back on the string and the Blazer did a double loop.
Yeah, there's nothing like spending relaxing quality time with my family, I thought, as I followed my daughter across the field.
I just wondered how long it would take for him to notice we were gone.
Debbie Farmer is the author of Life in the Fast-Food Lane: Surviving the Chaos of Parenting. Email her at paradigmnews@familydaze.com
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Saratoga, California Since 1955
