Dorothy and Eli Thomas (back row, center) are surrounded by their nine children: (front, from left) Michelle, 29; Greg, 33; Tony, 32; Nicole, 17; Francis 28; (back, left) Jim, 36; Chris, 35; Eli Jr., 34; and Danny, 31.
By Louise Webb
I had always wanted to meet Dorothy Thomas, a mother of nine children, after talking with her husband, Eli (owner the men's clothing store), at a fundraiser. When I asked him where his wife was he answered, "She's out tap-dancing." I was impressed.
I set a time with Dorothy for an interview for this Mother's Day article. "Come any time," she said. "Every day is hit or miss." I should have known by her comment it was not going to be a formal interview. It lasted most of the day.
Dorothy greeted me at the door, holding a grandchild under one arm and laundry in the other. Although only one child still lives at home, she was babysitting two of her grandchildren, entertaining a sister-in-law and taking care of the needs of her her son Francis, who was working with his landscape crew out front.
Her children range in age from 17 to 36 years. The first six children are boys. Daughter Nicole, the youngest, and the only one still at home, feels like she had 10 parents telling her what to do. Jim, the oldest, felt like his Mom's partner because he helped out a lot. Dorothy had little outside help.
Dorothy and Eli believe in treating the children as individuals and that they should do what makes them happy. Each one was made to feel important, and the one who needed special attention at the time got it.
Because there are so many siblings, the children had to learn flexibility and patience. For instance, when the boys were getting haircuts, they had to wait for one another. The one who went first was the one who pulled the longest piece of straw out of a broom.
Having a healthy family is important to Dorothy. Friends refer to her as "Mother Earth." She cooks lots of nourishing food and is known through out the neighborhood for her Lebanese bread. When the children were growing up, she made as many as 40 loaves once a week. She was also known in the neighborhood for giving first aid. Ice packs were kept in the freezer, and kids knew they could come by to get one when needed.
People are always welcome at the Thomas home, and they love to come. Alex Haley has been one of the guests. The table is so long that it led one relative to comment that you needed a conveyor belt in order to get your food.
Because the large family had to make do, emphasis was not put on material things. The children learned to share and compromise. At Christmas, Dorothy's favorite holiday, names were drawn for gifts. Sports, education, teamwork and giving back to the community were stressed.
Dorothy helped out in P.T.A. for so many years that when her last child was in high school, her friends gave her a retirement award for 31 years of P.T.A. service.
She gives unselfishly all the time. Former neighbor Michelle Puccinelli told me about the time Dorothy told her she was tired because she was behind schedule and had gotten up at 3 a.m. to press 45 shirts. When Puccinelli scolded her for it, Dorothy said it was her relaxing period.
Dorothy's son Francis, a landscape architect, came in for lunch while I was there. He mentioned the time his mother was concerned about the tips of his hands becoming raw from the mortar he was putting in hard-to-reach places between the rocks. She gave him a pair of surgical gloves to use. He laughed and said he wouldn't be caught dead in them and that his workers would make fun of him. His fingertips became rawer and, in desperation, he finally put on the gloves.They were a huge help. The workmen laughed at first, but one by one they also started wearing surgical gloves. Aren't mothers always right?
A family friend, Dr. Ken Frangadakis, remembers last year when Eli's store caught fire. Eli was away when it first happened. Dorothy and all their kids pitched in and helped 26 consecutive days cleaning up the mess.
Frangadakis says he thinks of Dorothy as one of the kids. He recalled his 50th birthday party. She came in riding on the back of a motorcycle he received as a gift. He also remembered hearing about her snowmobiling with her children while visiting Montana. With a Mom like this, it isn't surprising that all nine children chipped in to give "Ma" (another one of her nicknames) a red sports car for her birthday.
Eli is proud of Dorothy. He says she has contributed a lot to his success. He was able to concentrate on the store because he knew she was doing a good job at home.
What advice does she have for other mothers? She says, "The family leaves so quickly. We seem to stress unimportant things and try to make things too perfect while missing the enjoyable moments right in front of us. Don't miss the wonderful days of life spent with the children."
To Dorothy and all mothers, Happy Mother's Day.
This article appeared in the Saratoga News, May 8, 1996.
©1996 Metro Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved