Saratoga News

Photograph by Robert Scheer

Class members sit in an erect posture for 45 minutes at the beginning of each session.

Inside Out

Looking for truth in all the right places

By Chantal Lamers

As the day's last sunlight shines through the west window facing the Santa Cruz mountains, a dozen people walk up the stairs and down the hall of the building located in Saratoga's Kato Business Square at 1745 Saratoga Ave. Each person removes shoes before entering. They close their eyes and bow to their Zen teacher.

Anyone is welcome at the Open Gate Sangha Zen Group regardless of background, beliefs or religion. The meetings, held every Wednesday, are dedicated to the liberation of the human spirit. "Knowing internally is different than knowing spiritually," says Steve Gray, who leads the teachings.

Throughout North America some 250,000 people practice Buddhism, which started in India about 500 B.C. There are several kinds of Buddhism including Mantrayana, Mahayana, Zen and Hinayana or Theravada. Zen, the Buddhism practiced in Open Gate Sangha, focuses on seeking enlightenment.

Gray, who founded the group in 1996, says that his teachings stress the realization that the truth people seek is actually the self they present every day. Gray's role is to help people recognize that truth. It's not intellectual; it's something that must be experienced, he says.

At 7 p.m., one of the students chimes a soft bell once, twice, and a 45-minute silent meditation begins. In the room men and women of different ages and backgrounds kneel and sit on small black mats with matching circular pillows.

"The people who come to this group or any other serious spiritual practice are seeking some kind of spiritual transformation," Gray says. "They have money, family, but still something is missing; it's not complete. Usually, people come looking for something that's outside themselves."

Hemila Pedrone had been searching for a Zen group for five years before she found Open Gate Sangha. She wasn't seeking religion, just a guide. She's found that in Gray's teachings. "I just wanted something more spiritual," she says, "but at the same time to have a direct experience."

In the middle of two short rows, Gray sits with his knees folded in front of him. Across his lap lies a wooden stick that symbolizes a straight spine. A small cup of tea sits in front of him, filling the room with its herbal aroma.

Gray is neither a priest nor a monk, but a Zen teacher who practices Lay Zen.

Lay Zen can be taught by anyone upon the request of a priest or a monk. In his case, Gray was asked by his former teacher, Arvis Joen Justi of the Los Gatos Zen Group, to share the dharma--the cosmic order of natural and moral principles that apply to all humans and things--with others. "Whether or not one is chosen to become a teacher," Gray says, "depends on the degree of your actual spiritual experience."

Gray leaves his traditional Buddhist robes at home every Wednesday evening. "It's less intimidating," he says, adding that when he wears the robes, there is an "unconscious separation" between him and his students.

Behind him, atop a carpeted bench, sit a small white candle in a flower-shaped dish, a crystal, a small framed picture of Buddha's face and a small Buddha statue. "There is usually some sort of altar, but nothing specific," Gray says about traditional Buddhism. Some of the items were given to him by his students.

As 7:45 p.m. approaches, the chime is sounded once and then again minutes later. Students come out of their meditation, get up and fold their mats. Still in silence, everyone bows, and a walking meditation, called Kinhin, begins around the room. Kinhin lasts 10 minutes, with students taking just a few steps every minute, most keeping their eyes closed and their hands cupped in prayer.

After everyone sits down, the dharma period begins, and Gray gives a short lecture on a reading or a story. Some sit listening, while others continue to keep their eyes closed. Gray speaks of the internal progress that is accompanied by self-truth and realization. "Progress--that's the way we measure things," he says. "Progress. Unfortunately."

Helen Hsu came to America four years ago from Taiwan and has been a Buddhist for 10 years. "For me, Buddhism has become a way of life, just as when you are hungry you eat. It's just like a normal part of life."

Hsu, who has been with the group since it began last fall, says that in Buddhism it is not necessary to talk, accept or lecture. "Everything comes from inside ourselves, not outside ourselves," she explains.

Two papier-mache lamps hang from the ceiling, their glow becoming more dramatic as the night grows darker. The light that peeked through the cracks in the blinds is slowly beginning to disappear, and the last portion of the teachings begins. Satsang gives students the chance to ask their teacher questions about thoughts, feelings and even dreams they've had.

Pedrone says this period is always a wonderful experience for her. "It's a time that you honestly don't hold back. It's challenging," she says. "It's not just blindly accepting every answer."

Pedrone says since she joined the group in April, she's noticed an improvement in herself. "It's something really great. I have confidence in myself and in my experiences, rather than just giving my power away."

Hsu says Gray has a great sense of the Buddha but feels that talking is not necessary. "It's as if [students] are trying to grasp something from him," she says.

The sun is gone by 8:45 p.m., when the meeting comes to an end and the 12 pairs of shoes that lined the hall are being filled by bare feet.

"Every night is unique," Gray says. "Change is a very rare occurrence at the end of the evening." However, he says that's because he looks for something much deeper than a momentary change. "At the end, with some of the people, I can see there have really been some positive steps." Even if it's one student, he says, "that's pretty good."

For information on the Open Gate Sangha Zen Group, call Gray at 395-2292.

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