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Commentary
Is a Bill Gates presidential campaign far-fetched?
By Brian D. Rossman
Yesterday, Bill Gates, Microsoft chairman and the richest man alive, announced he was a candidate for president of the United States. Gates, co-opting former President Hoover's promise of "a chicken in every pot," declared that he envisioned an America with "Windows in every home."
Fearing a lack of true competition with his chief-executive aspirations, critics complained that Gates intends to impose one operating system of government upon the entire country. "No longer will our system be a democracy, but an MS-DOS-cracy," they cried.
Brushing aside the criticism, Gates supporters pointed to his extensive platform for examples of his qualifications: NT, Windows and CE. Gates himself added, "If customers choose to elect me, isn't it as simple as that? I should not be punished for my success. I am a better judge of what to integrate in our country than are the bureaucrats in Washington."
Like Gates, Silicon Valley has had a live-and-let-live relationship with Washington politicians. They are the policy makers, and we are the profit makers. They give us skilled workers, and we refrain from laughing when Al Gore claims that he created the Internet. However, Gates' coming-out party may change that delicate balance.
After witnessing the economic threats against those rivals who testified in the government's anti-trust action against Microsoft, few peers were willing to render their opinion of the Microsoft chairman's candidacy. However, under a promise of confidentiality, and an alteration of voice and likeness, a high-level Silicon Valley executive has agreed to answer some questions.
Q. What effect will it have on Silicon Valley's economy if Bill Gates is elected president in the 2000 election?
A. (gargle, crackle, gargle)
Q. Although your company is a competitor of Microsoft's in the software industry, will you support a fellow techie's run for the Oval Office?
A. (crack, gargle, screech)
There you have it. Clearly, those answers are representative of the high-tech community's feelings on this development.
One issue on everyone's mind is Bill Gates' choice of a running mate. Still smarting from accusations that as chairman of Microsoft he bundled the sale of Explorer with the sale of its monopoly product, Windows, Gates has decided to forego a running mate. "If you elect me, you will not need a vice-president. I will virtually attend all funerals of Third World dignitaries."
Melinda, his wife and first lady-hopeful, is taking steps of her own to secure an enjoyable term at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. She has already begun plans to renovate the White House in the same manner as their $60 million compound on the eastern shore of Lake Washington. Some of her proposed additions include sensors in the floor that can track a person to within 6 inches, a timely protection against a Lewinsky-esque rendezvous; a trampoline room with padded windows and doors, a place to let off steam during those frequent network crashes; and the inclusion of only two guest bedrooms, creating the distinct possibility that the overnight fees for the Lincoln Bedroom will skyrocket.
Not that Gates needs any assistance with campaign donations. His fortune hovers around the $100 billion mark, while the current stock market value of Microsoft is $500 billion. For those who desire a primary race devoid of at least one issue of traditional electoral politics, campaign finance reform is not at the forefront of Gates' platform.
Neither, if elected, is his serving for only one term. Gates is reported to have stated, "Today is Gates 2000, but rest assured, I will put into motion programs and changes to our government that will need to be updated every two years. I will stand before you as Gates 2002 and ask for a vote of confidence then, and every two years after that!"
Asking yourself how improbable is a Gates presidency, consider this news item. Recently, the Democratic Party of Ohio solicited Jerry "Mothers- who- kick- the- crap- out- of- their- boyfriends- who- sleep- with- their- daughters- who- look- like- their- mothers" Springer to run for the Senate. Should talk-show hosts and software engineers fail in their quest to lead the nation, we can always take our cue from Minnesota and search the World Wrestling Federation for other representatives.
Brian Rossman is an attorney and business consultant for high-tech companies. And a freelance writer.
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