Photograph by Kathy De La Torre
SHS principal Kevin Skelly, sits at the back of the room as members of the community gather to share their emotions in a meeting with representatives of the Centre for Living With Dying. Later, participants met in small groups.
Counselors help Saratogans to cope
Grieving process is evening's topic
By Leigh Ann Maze
In the aftermath of the fatal car accident on Sept. 3, that claimed the lives of two Saratoga High School juniors, Nicola Rooke, 15, and Eleanor Patrick, 16, Saratoga has begun its long healing process.
While the high school's students and staff have had each other, parents, community members and professional grief counselors on-hand lending support, the community and parents have not had the same opportunities to express themselves.
That is why the SHS PTSA and the Centre for Living with Dying sponsored a community meeting Sept. 11, for parents and community members to come to learn about the grieving process, ask the counselors questions and talk about how they have been affected by the tragedy.
About 30 people showed up for the event at the SHS library, mostly parents and other members of the community. SHS Principal Kevin Skelly and several administrative staff members and teachers were also there.
Centre For Living with Dying counselors Oona Cadorin and Sheila Everett opened the meeting. Cadorin and Everett first met the SHS community on May 8, when they provided support for the high school after it learned of student Lancy Chiu's suicide.
"The suicide is still very fresh in our minds and it's hard to cope with this new loss," said Everett.
Several other counselors from the Centre for Living with Dying were introduced, and they talked about the purpose of the evening.
Matt Bromage, an SHS student and member of the SHS peer-to-peer program also spoke.
Many who attended wanted to know how they could help the families of the victims.
"Their pain is so great, you can't take that away from them," Cadorin said. "But you can be here for them now, tomorrow, in six months, one year and 10 years."
Centre for Living with Dying counselor Larry Tunis, who has lost a child, said, "The shock in the community will subside, but the families will continue to need support in the months and years to come."
People then formed groups of about five people, each with a counselor, and talked candidly. Some spoke of how they felt about the incident and how it affected them personally.
"When things like this happen it triggers all of the other grief in our lives," said Everett. "Share that with your kids."
Others spoke about how the event changed the way they think, drive, or treat their children. Some cried, others spoke about how beautiful both funeral services were, and some expressed anger.
After the group discussions, SHS principal Kevin Skelly gave an emotional talk.
"Please be gentle and patient with us as we try to be gentle and patient with your kids," Skelly said.
As the meeting wrapped up, Cadorin told the group that the Centre for Living With Dying plans to be available to the students and the community once a week as they continue to heal. The specific day, time and place are still to be determined.
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