Family Daze
The inside scoop about what a flavor of ice cream reveals
By Debbie Farmer
If you want to find out exactly the type of person you are, forget about things like magazine quizzes, self-hypnosis, professional therapy and all that. Believe it or not, a new study done by the "Smell and Taste Research Foundation" has determined that your favorite flavor of ice cream reveals your true personality.
For example, if strawberry is your favorite flavor, you're a thoughtful, logical person who carefully weighs each option. If you like vanilla, you're a colorful, dramatic risk taker who relies on intuition. A penchant for butter pecan indicates conscientiousness and fiscal conservatism. And so on.
Face it: a world-leading industrialized nation, capable of launching satellites into space, creating life outside of the human body and inventing high-speed Internet access has invested time and money on research to find out that you never really know a person until you've seen them eat ice cream.
Now to me, this seems like just the kind of valuable information that could be dangerous in the wrong hands. I don't know about you, but just the thought of my entire personality being determined by what I eat is, well, frightening.
Take, for example, the other day when I had a slice of frozen pepperoni pizza and a box of jujubes for breakfast. I mean, what would the experts say about that?
Experts: OK, Mrs. Farmer, before we allow you to drive the soccer carpool, we need to learn a little more about you. So why don't you give us a rundown of what you've eaten so far today?
Me: Well, let's see, for breakfast there was a peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich and, oh yeah, part of a cold chicken leg. For lunch I washed down some Chinese food I found in a box in the back of the fridge with a chocolate diet shake. I think it was chow mein. But I could be wrong.
Experts (frantically scribbling on their clipboard): Is that all?
Me: Well, uh, yes. Unless, of course you insist on counting the cupcake leftover from my son's birthday party and the stale tortilla I found hiding behind the bag of lettuce in the crisper.
Experts: Next!
OK, we all know this would never really happen, but you must admit it does bring up all sorts of other worrisome issues. Like, for instance, how do you analyze people like my friend Julie, who doesn't eat ice cream at all, or my conservative friend Shirley, who loves pistachio covered with rainbow sprinkles?
To test this flavor theory, I brought my husband to a local ice cream shop. Those of you who are married will instantly recognized this as one of those stupid ideas that seems like a really good one at the time. That's because, well, you're right.
So imagine my surprise when my husband of 13 years, a man who prefers sitting alone on a computer or communing quietly with nature, ordered mint chocolate chip.
Now some of you are probably thinking "So what's wrong with that? That's one of the most popular flavors, you know." The truly shocking part, however, is that, according to the study, only personalities who are, "lively and flirtatious, and thrive on danger and passion" eat this particular kind of ice cream.
"Are you sure?" I said to my husband. "How about a nice, steady vanilla cone, or a big, stable scoop of banana nut?"
"No, thanks. mint chocolate chip is fine, really."
"Ah-ha!" I shrieked. "See there. After all these years, we've become nothing but strangers to each other. Strangers!"
Suddenly I was met with the kind of stare usually reserved for things like UFO sightings and flying monkeys. Of course, deep down a part of me doesn't really believe that ice cream flavors have anything at all to do with personality. I mean, you can't really judge a person's character based on a scoop of Cherry Garcia. Most of us are much more complex than that.
But, between you and me, the next time I go out for ice cream and want to appear extra exciting and mysterious, I'm ordering a double scoop of macadamia nut fudge brownie cheesecake. Just in case.
|
Saratoga, California Since 1955
