Family Daze

Perspective on Thanksgiving changes after children come

By Debbie Farmer

I never intended to tell you anything about this, but since I became an adult I discovered that the meaning of Thanksgiving sure isn't what it used to be. When I was younger, I remember receiving the inevitable homework assignment to write an essay on "something I am thankful for." Then I'd spend a lot of time sitting in my room trying to figure out just what in the world that could possibly be, and I'd end up writing down everything I could think of from God to environmental consciousness.

But after having children, my priorities clearly changed.

Before children: I was thankful to have been born in the United States of America, the most powerful free democracy in the world.

After children: I am thankful for Velcro tennis shoes. As well as saving valuable time, now I can hear the sound of my son taking off his shoes--which gives me three extra seconds to activate the safety locks on the back windows right before he hurls them out of the car and onto the freeway.

Before children: I was thankful for the recycling program, which will preserve our natural resources and prevent the overflowing of landfills.

After children: I am thankful for swim diapers because every time my son wanders into water in plain disposables, he ends up wearing a blimp the size of New Jersey on his bottom.

Before children: I was thankful for fresh, organic vegetables.

After children: I am thankful for micro-wavable macaroni and cheese, without which my children would be surviving on about three bites of cereal and their own spit.

Before children: I was thankful for the opportunity to obtain a college education and have a higher quality of life than my ancestors.

After children: I am thankful to finish a complete thought without being interrupted.

Before children: I was thankful for holistic medicine and natural herbs.

After children: I am thankful for any pediatric cough syrup guaranteed to "cause drowsiness" in young children.

Before children: I was thankful for all of the teachers who had taught, encouraged and nurtured me throughout my formative years.

After children: I am thankful for all of the people at Weight Watchers who let me strip down to pantyhose and a strategically placed scarf before getting on the scale each week.

Before children: I was thankful for the Moosewood Vegetarian Cookbook.

After children: I am thankful for the Butterball turkey hotline.

Before children: I was thankful for a warm, cozy home to share with my loved ones.

After children: I am thankful for the lock on the bathroom door.

Before children: I was thankful for my wonderful family.

After children: I am thankful for my wonderful family.

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Debbie Farmer can be reached at familydaze@home.com.

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