So I have to say sorry to those folks who came up with National TV-Turnoff Week. We're just not playing your silly game.

The reason is simple: If we want the TV on, we turn it on; if we want the TV off, we turn it off. And we don't need anyone to tell us when to do it. Get the picture?

I'm not trying to tell anyone else what to do during this week of TV rebellion. I'm just telling you what we're doing at our house. We're watching TV, just like we always do.

Now, my boys are grown men, so our family is not exactly the target of the April 19­25 National TV-Turnoff Week. But even if they were small, I'd feel the same way.

I've watched TV since the days of Ding Dong School, Uncle Milty and I Love Lucy (no, not the reruns), and I'm no blithering idiot (don't ask my sons for their opinion on that one).

And my boys were raised on Sesame Street and Scooby-Doo, and they're both doing fine (though for the longest time the youngest did refer to pretzels as his "Scooby snacks").

Sure, there's a lot of dumbing-down on television--that's why we have remote controls. But then, no one watches the dumb shows anyway. In fact, if you ask some people what they watch, they'll tell you they don't watch TV at all.

I think it's interesting to talk to folks about their TV-watching habits. No one seems to be watching, and the ones who do only watch PBS documentaries, Discovery and the History Channel. Yeah, I guess that's why Cingular Wireless and Coca-Cola pay seven figures to sponsor shows like Survivor and American Idol.

You know, if we're so interested in educational television, how come we all know the Gilligan's Island theme song by heart?

Because it's a bunch of baloney! When people ask, we like to tell them that we don't watch the junk that's on television. We're all too busy reading Tolstoy's War and Peace or whipping up a simple meal of "Twice-Baked Parmesan Soufflé with Romano Beans and French Butter Pears." Yeah, right!

Sure, parents need to monitor the television for their children. It can't be the substitute for family quality time and it should be off during mealtime and homework hours. But TV is not quite the Tube Monster some would make it out to be. And we're not better parents just because we pull the plug. It's not that simple.

You know, when the oldest was just a little guy, we had these next-door neighbors who had a son his age. The boys played together all the time, even though the neighbor kid's parents were considered the Ozzie and Harriett of the neighborhood and we were more like Homer and Marge.

They were the politically correct type: no toy guns, no treats between meals, only selective TV watching, brush after every meal ... you know, all that radical stuff.

And when Jason would come to the house for a sleepover, he would run straight for the plastic machine gun, he would eat all of the Hershey's kisses in the candy dish, he would snap the TV to Diff'rent Strokes and we would never see his toothbrush.

So what's the point? Well, Jason didn't turn out so great and our boys did. Was it the TV? Heck no ... that had nothing to do with it.

Of course, parents need to use discretion and common sense when it comes to TV time, and they need to come up with alternatives for their children. In fact, the Wooden Horse Toy Store in Los Gatos is doing just that, with interesting and fun activities planned every evening and on Saturday afternoon for school-age children.

But while a half-hour with the Brady Bunch on Nick At Night might be a mind-numbing experience, it certainly won't cause any permanent brain damage.

No, you know TV watching has caused permanent damage when:

* you ask your daughter for the time and she puts her answer in the form of a question ... "What is 8 o'clock?";

* your son blurts out "Doh!" after spilling his Mountain Dew;

* you tell your child it's bedtime and she asks, "Is that your final answer?"

* your son comes up with the Top 10 reasons why he shouldn't have to take out the garbage;

* your daughter suggests that you settle your dispute over whether or not she needs to clean her room by calling "Judge Judy."

Yeah, as much as some of us may hate to admit it, we watch the tube.

I admit it. I watch television. I watch PBS, I watch Discovery and I watch the History Channel. But I also watch American Idol, an occasional stupid sitcom, some made-for-TV movies and as many baseball games as Natalie will allow.

We're not buying into this silly National TV-Turnoff Week business. We don't need some organized effort to get us to turn off our television. We do turn it off ... every night before we go to bed.

Want to talk? Call me at 408.354.3110, ext. 31, or drop me a note at dsparrer@svcn.com.