These aren't just scenarios—they are real issues faced by Saratoga parents. Dynamic speaker and parent educator Joe Connolly, the co-founder of goodparents, inc. of Palo Alto, is leading a workshop series over the next six weeks to help parents realize they are good parents—even if they aren't told so very often. He's teaching them how to become even better parents in his popular program, "3 STEPS to parenting teens."

The first night of the program on Jan. 12 included an audience of more than 100 Saratoga parents. The program is being sponsored by the Redwood Middle School PTA, the Saratoga Union School District and the Saratoga High School PTSA.

"They are providing us with a service, the tools, skills, knowledge, and working with our parents so they can feel better about being parents," said Lane Weiss, Saratoga Union School District superintendent.

Weiss, the parent of two teenagers, attended the workshop along with his wife. "Parents may think they are the only ones having these challenges, and what they'll find is that nearly all families face these challenges."

Connolly started the evening, with the help of his partner Nina Burns, by showing a movie clip from Freaky Friday, which kept the audience laughing since they could relate to the parenting difficulties featured in the film.

"Sometimes we hear things like 'You're ruining my life,' or 'I hate you,' " Connolly said. "Our teens challenge us because they are different from us."

The first step of Connolly's program is to help parents learn about who their children are and what they do. The second step is to learn how to communicate with children in different ways, while the third step is practicing the skills parents have gained from the program.

"Parents in this day and age really need this material and the new ideas, and it's good to get a fresh look," said Saratoga parent Debbie Shahmirza.

Connolly brought up examples in the teenage transition period, from about age 10 to 18, which many parents in the audience had experienced firsthand. He talked about teens having changing sleep patterns, taking long showers or not bathing enough, and trying to form new identities for themselves by styling their hair in mohawks or piercing their belly buttons.

"Understanding this is a normal part of their development will help us," Connolly said.

Connolly said it's unfair for parents to expect their teens to have the organizational skills, decision-making capabilities and competence of understanding risk like an adult would. He said according to scientific research, the brains of teenagers aren't yet fully developed.

He also explained that until a child turns about 10, they are completely dependent on their parents for everything. But when they reach adolescence, Connolly said teens subconsciously realize their parents are no longer deities.

"They realize we are in fact human beings. We make mistakes. We are fallible," he said.

Parents who were in the audience said they are looking forward to future weeks of the program, and enjoyed hearing how other Saratoga parents have dealt with certain situations.

"It seems like a very common sense approach," said Saratoga father Jamie Tougas, who attended the evening with his wife, Shari. "It really struck a nerve."

Parents who missed the first session can still attend future meetings on Jan. 19 and 26, and Feb. 2, 9 and 23 from 7 to 9 p.m. in the Redwood Middle School library. The program costs $129 for parents.

For more information, visit www.goodparentsinc.com.