He meant most of his working life was in the office and his nurse-receptionist was with him at least eight hours a day, five or six days a week during most of his working career. In his case this situation lasted all his working career. He had the same woman as his aide as long as he worked.

That isn't unusual. Or rather, it didn't used to be unusual.

The faithful female assistant--no matter what she's called: nurse, receptionist, office manager, secretary, executive assistant or private secretary--is a post that's unique in American life. Or was.

Although it is less likely in these days of female liberation, for a century or more the combination of executive, doctor, lawyer--usually male--and his assistant--usually female--has been an enduring part of American life.

Some of these combinations were short-lived, but many went on for years, sometimes for the entire working life of both persons.

I know one such relationship: An executive arrived in California from the Mid- West with his secretary in tow. She had only recently been hired out of secretarial school. Neither of them ever went back to where they first met, but for the next 30 years they were together during all their working hours.

She never married. He married and divorced. Through good times and bad, through all those years, it was strictly a working relationship. She never presumed on her closeness to the boss. He never took advantage of the fact that he was the boss.

Eventually, they retired--in the same year. He went one way, she the other. And so far as I know, although they kept in touch, mostly by letter, it was never anything but a working relationship. Neither of them expected it to be anything else.

On the other hand, everyone has a story about the executive or doctor or lawyer who has over the years found himself closer to his office wife than to the one he married.

Divorce has often followed. Sometimes the boss has married his longtime assistant and sometimes further familiarity has failed to bring true love. I've come across a couple of these stories myself.

In both kinds of relationships, the bond between male boss and female assistant is a peculiar one. The assistant often is privy to the most intimate details of her employer's life.

She makes his appointments, is the first person a caller speaks to or sees at the office. She learns what the boss likes and doesn't like, when he wants to be "in" and when he doesn't.

It's possible, although not always probable, that she knows more about the executive than does his wife. Part of this is simply because they are together so much. Partly, it's because it's the female aide's job to know, to anticipate and to act on her boss' wishes.

Whether the relationship works the other way depends on the boss, I suppose. Some bosses seem to think of their aides as just another employee. Others take a deep and intimate interest in the lives of the women with whom they work.

My mother, who was a secretary, once had a boss who treated her and her family this way, with enduring kindness and concern, even after she no longer worked for him.

I write about all of this, however, from a perspective with some disadvantage because I never had a job where I had my own secretary or assistant. In fact, in my working career I never hired or fired anyone.

I did share several female assistants with another person--it was a kind of secretarial pool--but that's not the same as the relationship about which I am writing. I never depended on a single person for how I did my job.

In many ways I'm happy about this, in part because I never felt comfortable telling someone else what to do--one good reason why I was never an executive--and in part because I never wanted to hire or fire someone.

On the other hand, I was always envious of those who had their own secretaries or assistants. I think that's because involuntarily a male welcomes the attention of females.

It does something for his ego when a female is required to concentrate her attention on what he's doing, when she does tasks he asks her to carry out, whether she is at his sole beck and call, whether she depends on him for most of what she does.

And although most executives are loath to admit it, there are things women can do with more speed, skill, tact and grace than they can. That makes secretaries essential.

Since I'm no longer in the work place, I don't know precisely how the system works these days. I hear, however, that the partnership between a male executive and a female assistant is a much more equal relationship than it once was. But it still exists.

And it is still subject to the same perks and pitfalls.