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Saratoga Sampler

Mimi's Group meets for very important monthly dinners

By Mary Ann Cook

MONUMENTAL LIFE CHANGES: Mimi and Sy Bross were spotted outside a Big Basin Way restaurant last week, en route to dinner with friends. Nothing unusual there, except for the fact that Mimi has fronto-temporal dementia and lives at home, cared for by her chief caregiver, Sy, and an aide three days a week. She spends two days a week at the Alzheimer Activity Center near Valley Medical Center.

At the words dementia or Alzheimer's, people have a tendency to flee, hide or ignore those they know who are afflicted. Sy, and others in his situation, would urge friends and relatives to stay in touch, because support from others can mean so much.

Mimi was a very bright, caring woman before being stricken. A Phi Beta Kappa from Wisconsin, she worked in human resources at NBC in New York. Later, she became a counselor at the Career Action Center, helped to point others in the appropriate direction, or redirect them, as was the case after the dot-com bust.

Now her vocabulary consists of "yes." (Except for music. In a strange quirk, she still responds to music, and can come up with the lyrics of most Cole Porter songs.) Her use of "yes" stands for everything she wants to get across. It may be a substitute for "no" or any number of other responses. It's a means of saying, "Yes, I've heard you." She's heard, but she doesn't comprehend. She still reads, too, and is taken to the movies, but without understanding what she's read or seen.

Living this narrowed life and caring for one in this condition brings monumental changes. But keeping some semblance of normal functioning and socialization is crucial--at least it is for those who, like Sy, assume an active approach to the affliction. He and Mimi have taken cruises and cross-country trips to visit grandchildren, accompanied by an additional (female) caregiver.

But trips and cruises are probably out these days as Mimi's faculties continue to decline. That's why the presence of Mimi's Group is so important to the Brosses. This gaggle of friends meets monthly for dinner in local restaurants. The group includes Joanne Salinger, Ruth and Ed Gipstein, Marvin Kohn and Adele Salle. Mimi's Group provides a much appreciated support system and a reminder that Mimi, though diminished in capabilities, is still very much alive.

BUILDING IRAQI HOUSE: These Saratogans are helping Nick Deamer, project manager, construct the mud-brick Iraqi house now nearing completion on Montalvo's front lawn: Michael Donovan, Lakshmi Myneni, Alexander Salvadore, Sierra Smith, Jonathan Tien, Laura Tillett and Jeff and Rudi Katz.

And from Los Gatos come these Montalvo volunteers: Lisa Mammel, Kelsey Nemirov, Chris Wiley, Daphne and Victoria Watson, and Chris, Cole and Enza Potter. An unconventional window is part of the construction, donated by Wiley.

The house, typical of rural houses of 50 years ago, is the opening installation for Iraq: Reframe, a project which examines Iraq from the perspective of art and culture, and explores what the enormous loss of life and culture mean for society as a whole. Rijin Sahakian is curator of the multi media enterprise.

An installation of a mock travel agency touting vacation trips to Baghdad will open in November, as will Open Shutters Iraq, a photography installation. Iraqi hip-hop artist Narcy will perform. And a series of films and discussions will be offered in collaboration with Stanford's Aurora Forum. The project runs through April.

NEW RECRUITS: Assistance League is looking for new members who want to make a difference to needy children and the elderly. New-member classes start Sept. 26. The number to call is 408.278.5300. Projects involve reading and exercise for youngsters, cooking and crafts for seniors.

AL officers are Terri Spice, president; Sue Schneider, president elect; Denise Renola, membership; Susan Swartz and Susan Weber, philanthropic programs; Barbara Muse, resource development; Jane Stroud, secretary; Lynn Sprague, treasurer; Jill Bess, education; and Chrystie DeSoto, public relations.

HISTORICAL BBQ: Saratoga Historical Foundation's annual barbecue will be held Sept. 23, 2-5 p.m., at Cooper Garrod Winery/Farm. A silent auction will be featured for the first time. The $35 tab includes dinner and wine tasting. Reservations are required via Nancy Anderson at 408.867.4383.

Got a tip for Saratoga Sampler? Send e-mail to mac@impruve.com.