Ingrid McCleary
By INGRID MCCLEARY
June is the favorite wedding month, but all you would-be brides out there, I urge you: Marry in August.
Why talk about summer weddings in January? Because weddings take months of planning.
So--on to August. Sure, it's hot, and yes, your $100 hairdo may wilt, your gown may stick to you in certain places, and the groom, sweltering in his tuxedo armor, may faint dead away or have sweat dripping off his nose when he vows his eternal love. But consider this--a wedding/reception is only four hours long, while you have a lifetime of anniversaries to celebrate.
Why am I pushing August? Your future children's summer vacations, that's why. It's something you'll contend with for the next 18 to 25 years, depending on the number of children you have. After that, you'll have your grandchildren's summer vacations to consider.
Now, if you're not planning a family expansion, choose any day you please with the exception of major holidays. But if you want babies, then heed this advice: Don't pick June; there are too many "last days of school" activities.
You could marry in July, though that's the best family camping month, and you'll still have half the summer vacation to slog through. Don't even think about early September, because your children will need you as the "new school year" jitters set in. Leaving for your anniversary trip at this time could be considered abandonment in some circles.
January through May--you could marry then if you don't mind anniversaries in the rain. Or spending your vacations below the equator. October? The cold and Halloween. November and December? You'll be too busy with Thanksgiving and Christmas.
No, late July, early August--that's the ticket. When Bill and I married in mid-August, we didn't figure how children would fit into the anniversary picture. If we'd known then what we know now, we'd have chosen early August, leaving more time for the hustle and bustle of procuring the kids' new school wardrobes.
Also--and this is a big also--by the time August rolls around, a mother needs a major kid break. August is simply the best time to take her away from it all.
What better way to relieve a frazzled mother, make her feel pampered and loved, than to bring her to a bed and breakfast inn? How better to strip her of her motherly duties and reveal the woman you married than to treat her to a candlelight dinner followed by a stroll on the beach? What awakens the child within her, giving her the energy to come home and play with her children? A hike, a carnival, a hot-air balloon ride.
In case you men think I'm not considering your needs, reflect on this: A happy woman makes for a happy household, and a happy household is a grand place to spend your time.
Can't afford the three-day getaway? Then take the kids away for four hours and take her out to dinner later that evening. You'd be amazed at her transformation.
Here's what I did during my four-hour reprieve: Watered the gardens, pulled a mountain of weeds, fixed the leak in the pool, swayed in the hammock, watched my rabbits hop around, put on a nice summer dress, threw out the animals and turned on the air conditioner, ate a chocolate eclair, made an iced coffee slush, climbed into bed and read for half an hour, then snoozed for 45 minutes. In those four hours, I didn't respond to anyone; indeed, I never spoke a word.
Hedonistic? You bet! Selfish? Uh huh. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. So would my family--because they came home to a woman with a smile.
So you choose: four hours of wedding comfort, a one-time deal, or a minimum of four hours of heaven every year for the rest of your life.
This article appeared in the Sunnyvale Sun, January 15, 1997.
©1997 Metro Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved.