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Intercepting Media Messages to Kids
We can't stop kids from watching TV and movies, but we can explain some of the landscape's gruesome features
By Moryt Milo
Toward the end of my son's school year, I volunteered to drive for a class field trip to the San Francisco Zoo. At the beginning of the day, my biggest concern was how to keep four 8-year-olds entertained for an hour. But by day's end my original concern was completely eclipsed by a much larger one.
Everything started out smoothly enough. My son suggested we put in the Tarzan CD and, as it began, one of the kids in the back said, "Oh, I loved that movie."
"Me too," I said and added, "Do you have a favorite Disney movie?"
One of the little girls in the back said, "I really liked The Little Mermaid. "
My son chimed in; "My favorite was Dinosaur. "
Then one of the kids said, " Mystery, Alaska. That was sooo good!"
"Mystery, Alaska?" I questioned. "Isn't that about some hockey team that plays the New York Rangers?"
"Yeah it's great," the kid replied.
I hadn't seen it but I had seen the trailers. I couldn't remember if it was rated PG-13 or R. It certainly didn't look like a movie for an 8-year-old.
Then one of the girls in the back said, "I saw it, too. What about that scene where the girl and the boy ..." the rest is whispered into the boy's ear.
Then I hear the same girl say, "Did you see Deep Blue Sea?" The boy said he had.
I'd seen it, too. Even though the movie was incredibly stupid, there was a significant amount of violence. The language and sexual content may have been relatively tame from an adult viewpoint, but it certainly wasn't appropriate viewing for any second-grader.
Then I hear the same girl say, "What did you think about the part where she takes off her clothes?"
By now I'm absolutely astonished to hear this conversation going on in the back seat of my car. And wonder if I'm the last of a dying breed when it comes to controlling what movies and videos my kids watch.
These kids were discussing things that I was clueless about at age 8. So before either one of them could bring up who liked Pulp Fiction, I steered us all onto another topic of conversation.
Now, I'm not that naive and I know there are plenty of kids, under age, watching PG-13- and R-rated films. I just don't get it. I still remember going to see Ransom and noticing a couple walk by with their under 13-year-old son. I remember thinking, why in the world would parents bring their child to this kind of a film. Do these parents honestly believe that, because it is "only a movie," it doesn't have any effect on their kids?
What disturbs me the most is, this is one area where adults have absolute control in monitoring what a young child can and should watch. So I wonder, are these parents clueless? Do they not care? Have they completely forgotten how different a child's perception is? Or do they just want to see a movie so badly that they'll take their kids along for the ride?
Parents should be guides and mentors. A kid who is 7-, 8-, or 9-years-old is nowhere near understanding the world from an adult point of view. We are supposed to be teaching and explaining. Yet, nowadays it seems, many parents aren't explaining anything and kids are being throw into Adultville without a second thought.
There have been numerous studies showing the less-than-stellar effects of unsupervised viewing on children. Take the nightly news: it's a perfect example of something that can trigger nightmares and worries in small children.
For a very long time, my husband and I didn't watch the news until 11 p.m. because we didn't think seeing crashes, murders, shoot-outs and drug overdoses was appropriate for our children. We figured a whole lot of explaining needed to happen before visual bombardment kicked in. We did this by reading about these events in newspapers and magazines and then discussing them with the kids.
It's not that I'm trying to avoid reality. I just believe in a kinder approach to getting there.
As for that video Mystery, Alaska, I went out and rented it. It was a funny and touching movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it. But this was a movie no parent should have allowed an 8-year-old to watch. There was a whole lot more going on besides hockey. And I'd lay you odds, if more parents took the time to check out what they were letting their kids watch, that conversation in the back seat of my car wouldn't occur on a second-grade field trip.
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Sunnyvale, California Since 1994
