The Sun
Sunnyvale's Newspaper

Town Center mall to mother ship: The shoppers hit the spot

By Ingrid McCleary

A chill hangs in the air. The sky darkens. Your eyes widen at movement in deepening shadows, and your ears prick up at the sound of rustling in the underbrush. Your nostrils flare to catch the scent, but it eludes you. Something approaches and at that moment you experience deja vu--this has happened before! The realization makes you shudder, and goose flesh races across your arms.

Relax! You're right, it has happened before, but it's not deja vu. It's Halloween, and it happens every year.

And this year, I think it's high time we spoke not of Johnny, the ghost who roams the aisles of Toys R Us, but of another scary story, "The Unofficial Mystery Spot of Sunnyvale." No better time than Halloween to envision a group of kids huddled around a campfire listening to tall tales as the blackness creeps up behind them and encroaches on their safety zone.

But first, we must warm our hands on the official Mystery Spot in Santa Cruz. This particular spot, 150 feet in diameter, has a strange magnetic pull, the area is devoid of birds and the trees grow backward, their trunks spiraling through unknown forces. For some inexplicable reason, the center of gravity is off, and everything leans to one side. Also, height is not a constant; short people stretch, and tall people shrink.

One scientist holds that alien visitors planted a computer beneath the Mystery Spot eons ago. This computer is allegedly relaying messages to its mother ship, and these messages are causing magnetic disturbances. Though unsubstantiated, it remains an explanation--dubious though it may be.

Well, using the same criteria, I contend that the Sunnyvale Town Center is Sunnyvale's Mystery Spot. Before you pshaw, consider the following:

* Some teenagers will swear on a stack of Bibles that the magnetic pull from the mall is so intense that it overrides personal will power, empty wallets and logic.

* No feathered friend enters the air-conditioned domain of the shopper, though there are some wise birds who hang outside McDonald's (no one can resist those french fries!). And rumor has it that another flock has been spotted circling the center courtyard, ready to snatch tidbits left by those who take their food court delectables outside.

* Things grow backward and spiral in strange directions. Your checkbook balance goes backward as your purchases spiral out of control.

* The center of gravity is off. After three hours of chasing sales like a heat-seeking missile, my energy's depleted and I begin to feel distinctly lightheaded. There's nothing like a warm, gooey cinnamon roll from Cinnebon to restore my balance.

* Everything leans to one side. It's a strange phenomenon, but every salesperson inside the mall leans to one side--toward those with money. They can detect your cash cache even if you try to hide the fact by dressing down.

* Height is not a constant. Well, heck, anyone knows that when you find the perfect gift, you feel 10 feet tall. And by the time you leave, the weight of your packages compresses your spine, rendering you several inches shorter.

* A computer is relaying messages to its mother ship. This, of course, is the computer tabulating your 8 percent sales tax. Even though there's a drive to abolish the penny, the state wants your money, down to the last copper coin. Still, pennies are discarded in bushes or tossed into the latest "Save the ____" containers by the pound. Could this copper overload be causing magnetic vortexes within the mall? Though unsubstantiated, it remains an explanation--dubious though it may be.

So this Halloween, when the wind whistles and the trees bend toward you, don't forget the Unofficial Mystery Spot of Sunnyvale. Explore at your own risk. If you dare.

And be thankful the Great Mall is in Milpitas. I hear they file missing-person reports there on a regular basis.

Ingrid McCleary is a Sunnyvale resident and a columnist for The Sun.

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This article appeared in the Sunnyvale Sun, October 22, 1997.
©1997 Metro Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved.