Photograph by George Sakkestad
Evangeline and daughter Vanessa, 7, found shelter from domestic violence through Women and Their Children's Housing.
By SHELLEY P. ASH
For Evangeline W., 1996 was a year of extraordinary contrasts. In the early months she and her children endured the pains of domestic violence, as they had for a long time. Today, and several months into a community program that helps battered women, Evangeline holds her head high and smiles with a newfound confidence.
She thanks God, her children and WATCH (Women and Their Children's Housing) for helping her start a new life. And she derives much inspiration from the five women and 10 children who graduated from the program Oct. 22.
"My life is like a pinball game," Evangeline said at the ninth annual celebration. "I'm the ball, and the bumps and traps represent life's obstacles. It's easy to lose faith and get frustrated, but WATCH sends you back out there to try again, just like the flippers do to the ball."
The only long-term transitional housing program for victims of domestic violence in Santa Clara County, WATCH is a multifaceted organization that helps women create new and more productive lives for themselves and their children.
"Our goal is to break the cycle of violence by assisting families in developing nonviolent lifestyles and attaining economic self-sufficiency and emotional well-being," said Executive Director Lisa Breen. "Our program not only teaches skills for independent living, but we teach our clients that 'family' can also mean just Mom and the kids. Our focus is to create a new family so that Mom can focus on surviving."
Statistics speak volumes
Survival. It's something that most people take for granted, said several women who attended the graduation. They know what they're talking about.
Each year in the United States, approximately 4 million women are battered at the hands of their husbands or partners--that's one woman being battered about every 10 seconds, according to the Family Violence Prevention Fund. In addition, women are most likely to be murdered when attempting to report abuse or to leave an abusive relationship. According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, a woman is killed every six hours by her boyfriend, husband or live-in lover.
Sunnyvale resident Bill Parks has been concerned about domestic violence and its effect on families for a very long time. He believes that, despite the media's recent coverage of the subject, spurred by the O.J. Simpson trials, the public still does not recognize the problem of domestic violence for how serious it is. He said people also don't realize that domestic violence affects all walks of life--from women who have been away from their careers a long time to those who are highly professional.
"We need to create an attitude of zero tolerance," said Parks, so far the only man to serve on WATCH's board. (WATCH actively tries to recruit other men to get involved.) "We need to establish a new attitude and a common value that violence to women is not acceptable."
Parks believes that, as a man, it is important for him to serve on the board to communicate that domestic violence is not just a woman's problem. "Men and women need to work together to solve problems," he said at the graduation.
When problem-solving comes to an impasse, many people ask why these women don't just pick up and leave. It's not that simple, Breen said. Many of these women don't have places to go or the money to support themselves and their children. Many are just plain scared, and they don't know how to fight the manipulation that often comes with battering.
As reported in the Winter 1993 issue of Protective Services Quarterly, abusers often keep or destroy documentation such as birth certificates and immunization records, preventing or delaying a mother's receiving welfare benefits or housing assistance.
The journal also reported that abusive partners use children as pawns in custody fights to coerce their female partners to reconcile with them. Often, these incidents occur during court-ordered visitation. Each year in the United States, more than 350,000 children are abducted by parents. Of these abductions, 54 percent are short-term manipulation around custody orders; 46 percent involve concealing the whereabouts of the child or taking the child out of state. Most of these abductions are perpetrated by fathers and their agents; battering men use custodial access to their children as a tool to terrorize battered women or to retaliate for separation.
A Special Lifeline
WATCH's 19 apartment units--the location is kept secret--provide battered women and their children a safe haven, and a new lease on life.
The two-year program has several other components. During employment counseling, clients set goals, take aptitude tests, research job opportunities, write résumés, learn how to interview for a job, and build skills for overall career self-reliance. This also involves finding secure child care services.
Weekly individual and group counseling, participation in support groups, and regular meetings with WATCH staff raise client self-esteem and provide emotional support. On-site workshops teach parenting skills, household and financial management, health care and nutrition, and provide legal information. And all women participate in the resident council, which is responsible for maintaining and cleaning the premises, organizing social activities, editing a newsletter and resolving disputes among community members.
As for children, WATCH holds weekly support groups for those age 3 and older, assigns a child advocate upon a parent's request, provides individual counseling and play therapy and helps children to partake in city recreational programs. WATCH also coordinates meetings between clients and school district officials to help resolve children's academic and social problems, said Cupertino resident Kathy Robinson, who has served on the WATCH board for 10 years--since the program's inception. After these meetings, when teachers and mothers have set goals for the children, attendance improves dramatically. As a result, these children catch up on their studies, get good grades and oftentimes move to the top of their classes, Robinson said.
"Children are physically and emotionally traumatized [by watching their mothers be abused] and often have a very difficult time adjusting," Robinson said. "These meetings are just one way that WATCH builds understanding and helps turn these clients' lives around."
Teaching Children
Parks particularly values that WATCH teaches an alternative lifestyle and teaches children that violence is not a way of life. He encourages people to get involved in any way they can.
As a board member, Parks helps to set financial and program strategies, ensure that WATCH staff operate within the bylaws and policies, and plans fund-raising activities. However, he is quick to say that a person need not volunteer a great deal of time to make a significant difference. Volunteers work at the shelter, provide daycare services, interact with clients, help maintain the apartments and participate in planning special events. "Any amount of time is appreciated," Parks said.
There are opportunities for volunteers to help on the business side as well, Robinson said.
Funding for WATCH comes from local city governments, corporations, foundations and private citizens. But the organization is always happy to receive donations of furniture and office supplies.
Last year, 89 percent of WATCH graduates were employed, 11 percent were continuing their education, and 100 percent found safe and independent living situations.
"It's very moving to think about how hard it is to start at zero and build a life for yourself and your kids," Breen said at the graduation. "These women are dedicated to making their lives better. It's amazing the different processes these women work at every day to create nonviolent homes for themselves and their children."
For more information on WATCH and its programs, call 942-0209.
This article appeared in the Sunnyvale Sun, December 4, 1996.
©1996 Metro Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved.