"Marta told me her company was about to be acquired by a company in Texas and that she might be laid off due to job duplications," Bulbuk says. "She said I should find myself a nice American girl, someone who wouldn't have to leave the country if she lost her job."

Although Donayre had a H-1B visa—which allows professional workers from other countries to work in the United States for up to six years, she would have to return to her native Brazil if she was laid off and couldn't find a new job within 10 days. Bulbuk, a U.S. citizen, doesn't have the same legal rights to sponsor Donayre to stay in the United States as heterosexual U.S. citizens do.

"That was when we first felt the sting of discrimination against same-sex binational couples," Bulbuk says.

The challenges the Sunnyvale couple had been through are far from unique. The New York­based Lesbian and Gay Immigration Rights Task Force estimates that about 100,000 binational, same-sex couples in the United States face the same problem.

Bulbuk says an increasing number of binational, same-sex couples are being torn apart because of the economic downturn.

"It is unfair that people are forced to choose between the love of their life and their country," Bulbuk says.

To raise awareness of the plight that binational, same-sex couples experience, Bulbuk and Donayre established Love Sees No Borders, a Sunnyvale-based educational organization, in August of 2001. Bulbuk and Donayre share their experience at universities, town hall meetings and conferences.

Since its inception, Love Sees No Borders has worked with other gay and immigration rights groups to advocate for the passage of the Permanent Partners Immigration Act, a bill that Rep. Jerold Nadler (D-N.Y.) introduced on Valentine's Day in 2000 and reintroduced in 2001.

The Permanent Partners Immigration Act would allow same-sex and unmarried heterosexual partners of U.S. citizens and lawful permanent residents the same immigration rights that spouses of U.S. residents enjoy. Specifically, it would add the term "permanent partner" to the federal law's list of definitions of family.

"I was angry when a woman told me she couldn't imagine her marriage to her husband could be the same as my relationship with Leslie," Donayre says. "Of course it's not the same. I had to jump through many hoops to be with Leslie. She didn't have to."

The couple has overcome many difficulties to stay together. Despite the company acquisition in March of 2000, Donayre wasn't laid off. However, she later found a job at Ariba Inc., which promised her a permanent resident card, typically referred to as a green card.

But in April of 2001, Donayre was laid off from Ariba, along with 700 other employees. Although she found another job soon, the couple lived in fear until Donayre was granted asylum in the United States on Feb. 19, 2002, on the basis that she would be in danger because Brazil is a homophobic country.

Although the couple's story has a happy ending, many binational, same-sex couples are still suffering from what Bulbuk calls a "biased immigration law."

And the fate of the Permanent Partners Immigration Act has remained uncertain. The bill has been attacked by conservative forces and stalled for two years in the Subcommittee of Immigration and Claims of the House of Representatives' Judiciary Committee. Gay and immigration right groups expect Nadler to reintroduce the bill this year.

If the bill is passed, Bulbuk says, millions of Americans will benefit from it because it affects not only the couple but also their family members, friends and coworkers.

Right now, 15 countries around the world, including Canada, France and South Africa, grant immigration rights to same-sex couples although only one of them, the Netherlands, recognizes same-sex marriage.

"The United States lags behind many advanced countries in terms of gay rights," says Jean-Pierre Ciudad. Cuidad will leave America after 11 years of working here once the student visa of his partner, Matthew Parn, expires.

Ciudad is a French citizen who got his U.S. citizenship last year. He met Parn, an Australian, at a gay pride parade in June of 1999.

"I was fascinated by his Australian accent," Ciudad says. "He left a message on my cell phone, and I asked every one of my friends to listen to it."

Ciudad cherished every moment with Parn as Parn's tourist visa was about to expire. After Parn returned to Australia, Ciudad flew out to be with him for three months until Parn returned to the United States with an extended tourist visa and stayed for a year.

But the clock was ticking again. Parn went back to Australia for 11 months and finally returned to the United States with a student visa in August of 2001.

"We were aware of the difficulty at the very beginning, but we didn't expect it would be that difficult," Parn says.

Parn is studying technical writing at San Francisco State University and will get his certificate in June, which means his student visa will expire at the same time. Although he can get a training visa for up to eight months, he will have to leave the United States and Ciudad again if he cannot find a job.

Parn and Ciudad are considering moving to France or Australia if things don't work out. Ciudad has applied for the Pacte Civil de Solidarite, which grants immigration rights to partners of French citizens.

"We don't want to leave the United States simply because we have no choice," Ciudad says in their cozy San Francisco apartment. "We live here. This is our home."

For more information on Love Sees No Borders, visit www.loveseesnoborders.org or www.lgirtf.org.