In his emails to the spammer, the Sunnyvale man threatened terrible things. He said he would poke an ice pick in the spammer's ear and that he would serve up the spammer's genitals in a meat loaf. Terrible things. Terrible things.

But from what I hear this man is becoming a hero on the Internet, and I understand why.

Spam is getting me down. I sometime shudder when I know I'm about to open my community email boxes. I brace myself. I want to scream. But I have to if I'm going to find your emails, dear reader.

I plod through several hundred emails that sell everything from penis enlargement pills to mortgage renewals to prescription drugs and videos of girls with barnyard animals. I'm not easily shocked, so that's not the problem. I'm just worn down, tired, sick of spending so much time hitting the delete button. It takes maybe 45 minutes or more of my day to deal with this stuff.

Any subject line that says "Do you want a monster rod," or "Keep her screaming all night long," or "Lowest prices for Paxil," or "Is your colon healthy," I have an inkling of the content. "Kindly confirm interest" is some guy in Africa with a great investment opportunity. These I simple delete without opening.

But with some 200 of them at any given time, it takes a long time because somewhere tucked between a "Fountain of youth" and a "Sale on Viagra" might be a letter to the editor or a press release from a local high school.

The problem is spammers are crafty. They know I'm checking that subject line and deleting. Their game is to put something in the subject line to get me to open up and read. But I'm on to them.

I've learned now that any subject line that reads "hi" or "hello" or "missed you" is a delete.

I've learned that "You've won," "You need to know this," "Wow, this is great," are deleters.

What gets me in trouble are subject liners like, "Welcome," "Important event" or the ever-present blank subject lines. These I have to open because sometimes they are from readers. Usually, though, I click them open and, blam, I get to see the word penis or Viagra in enormous blue or red letters.

These days I'm talking to myself more and more as I plod through the spam. I mutter terrible words under my breath as I punch the delete button over and over with a vengeance, wondering why those #*&!@#'s keep bugging me. I find myself wishing I could do something to spammers, wishing I had an ice pick or a meat grinder.

But I will continue to hunt for your emails and will be ever grateful if you say something in the subject line like "letter to the editor" or "press release."

That might help me keep from winding up in jail someplace with the Sunnyvale guy or in some mental institution mumbling terrible, terrible things about what to do to spammers.

Sandy Sims is the editor of The Sun. Contact her at 408.200.1055 or via email, ssims@svcn.com.