But Mears belongs to a support group that encourages her to get out and live.

Lupus is a chronic disease that attacks the immune system and sometimes spreads to the body's organs.

No one knows exactly what causes it, but scientists do know the disease can be triggered by such things as exposure to the sun, a change in hormones, even viruses such as colds.

Lupus is called a women's disease, and it's clear why when one attends the Mid-Peninsula Lupus Support Group. Of the thirty-nine active members listed on the group's roster, only one is a man. Group members come from Cupertino, Los Altos, Campbell, Saratoga, Los Gatos, Sunnyvale and just about every other South Bay city in between.

The support group meets monthly at El Camino Hospital in Mountain View. Mears is a good example of how these women help each other cope with the disease, but still maintain an active life. She said "I just get up and go." In addition to being a regular concert-goer, Mears is taking singing lessons and planning a trip to Disneyland for her 42nd birthday.

While Mears and others in the group share their personal news at their meetings, they also learn about medical news such a as stem cell research trial that is getting underway at Stanford, with slots for eighteen lupus patients. One of the group's members is participating. They often bring in speakers. In January Robert Stahl from El Camino Hospital will speak on mindfulness.

Besides being an information source, the support group plans fun events, too. In December they are having a Christmas luncheon at Los Altos Country Club.

And they also share their struggles. Symptoms of the disease can come and go. Sunnyvale resident Sophia Lin said a bout with pneumonia kept her from working the past several months, but she's feeling better and is resuming her day-to-day activities as a realtor.

Lin, like Ramani Aravindhan, is living proof you can have a full life. Aravindhan contracted lupus in 1999. First, her shoulders started to ache, then her arms and knees and soon all of her joints. But Aravindhan, who lives in San Jose, hasn't had a flare-up for two years.

Some live with lupus for years without knowing it, which is what happened to Jo Dewhirst of San Jose. Her symptoms started in 1960 when she was a young housewife with three children. Between 1965 and 1975 she was hospitalized twenty times. When she was finally diagnosed in 1975, her doctor said, "Jo, just don't worry until you have something to worry about."

"That told me a lot," she said, "I was angry. The only information I could find then was that lupus was a fatal disease affecting women."

So Dewhirst took action by starting the South Bay's first lupus support group. Today, she's the executive director of the Lupus Foundation of Northern California.

In addition to its many roles, the foundation conducts outreach programs to help those with lupus understand that the disease is not necessarily fatal, that it can be managed, most often with drugs. Staying out of the sun is important, too, and keeping stress at a minimum is important.

But these women do have stress in their lives. Darlene Gonzalez just saw one of her sons leave for Iraq. She's helping a daughter plan her wedding. And she's still trying to go to work at a local animal hospital, which helps pay for extra health insurance for her. The 40-year-old Mountain View mother of eight suffers from a multitude of illnesses, some of which she was born with. When the group learned at one meeting out that Gonzalez' doctor recently told her to put her affairs in order, they offered to help. One member offered to go grocery shopping and asked if Gonzalez needed financial assistance. Though her prognosis is not good, Gonzalez said, "I'm still me. I still fight."

According to the Lupus Foundation, more than eighty percent of the women afflicted with lupus suffer prolonged or extreme fatigue. Rashes, achy joints, arthritis, hair loss and kidney problems are also common.

The disease usually hits women during their childbearing years.

The Lupus Foundation estimates between 1.5 and 2 million Americans suffer from lupus, ninety percent of whom are women. There is some evidence that it is an inherited disease: approximately five percent of lupus sufferers will pass it on to their children (three of the women attending one of the support group meetings said at least one family member had also contracted lupus). And although it is an equal opportunity disease, lupus most often strikes people of color, including African Americans, Native Americans, Asians and Hispanics. That's why the Lupus Foundation of Northern California has recently started a South Bay support group for Spanish-speaking women and has information in Spanish, as well as chat rooms and articles about the disease.

But Mary Kate Franci, 60, who was diagnosed in the 1960s, said there is a lot of hope these days, with new medications and because doctors are diagnosing lupus much earlier.

The lupus foundation recommends becoming educated about the disease and being part of a support group makes a big difference in dealing with the disease.

The Lupus Foundation of Northern California is located at 2635 North First Street, Suite #206 San Jose

For information go to www.balf.org also or phone 408.954.8600 or toll free 800.523.3363 or email balf@balf.org

Information about the Mid Peninsula Lupus Support Group call Mary Kate Franci 408.369.8328