The Sunnyvale Sun
News
Photograph courtesy of the De Silva sisters
Losing their dad to suicide was devastating to Sunnyvale sisters (from left) Nellum Lewis, Shantal De Silva and Hashanthi De Silva-Perera. The three recently participated in a suicide awareness walk in San Francisco.
Saying goodbye, walking for others
By MIKE BARNHART
Although it has been more than 10 years, Sunnyvale resident Hashanthi De Silva-Perera vividly remembers the few months leading up to her wedding day in the spring of 1996.
In addition to the standard pre-wedding details that most brides-to-be deal with, De Silva-Perera faced the stunning loss of her father to suicide.
Hirantha Vincent De Silva took his own life Jan. 2, 1996, becoming one of the more than 30,000 people that die in the United States by suicide each year. De Silva's action shocked his family, which was still grieving another suicide loss.
"In October 1995, I lost an aunt to suicide," De Silva-Perera explained. "While our family was trying to make sense of that tragedy, my father committed suicide just three months before my wedding."
De Silva and his sister, Delanie Vazquez, the aunt who killed herself, shared a common suicide risk factor, "genetic predisposition" or family history. Their own father, Herman De Silva, had committed suicide.
"We want to break this terrible cycle in our generation," declares De Silva-Perera, speaking for her two sisters as well. "We want to send a message that tells our kids and others that suicide is not an option."
To that end De Silva-Perera, a mother of a 7-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl, joined sisters Nellum Lewis of Southern California and Shantal De Silva of Redwood City as Team De Silva, walking in honor of their lost family members at the "Out of the Darkness Overnight," July 22-23 in San Francisco.
The event, a 20-mile walk from sunset to sunrise, was a fundraiser for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), the only national not-for-profit organization dedicated to funding suicide prevention research, education and awareness programs--both to prevent suicide and to assist those affected by it. Participants agreed to raise at least $1,000 each to walk.
"We're walking for them and for countless other families who can be spared this life-changing experience," De Silva-Perera explained prior to the event. "If we can help prevent one person from taking his or her life, our goal would be accomplished. We are choosing life, and we hope those considering suicide will also."
About 1,100 people participated in the walk, the first of its kind on the West Coast. They collectively raised about $1.3 million. Team De Silva wore matching pink T-shirts. The backs read "Team De Silva, 3 sisters, 1 choice ... Life," followed by the names of the honored family members and those who helped the team surpass its fundraising goal of $3,000.
"We are very sore and tired, but so thrilled we made it," De Silva-Perera said after the event. "It was an emotional journey that we are blessed to have gone through, and in many ways we feel renewed."
Going into the event, De Silva-Perera had hoped it would bring healing to hurts that have existed since her father took his life more than a decade ago.
"We still have pain--Father's Day is always hard," she said two days before the walk, "but I think it will bring closure."
So determined was De Silva-Perera to increase public awareness about suicide, its impact and its prevention, she created and mailed out a press release to local media.
"Telling our family's story was not my goal, as people suffer from different things every day," she said. "We just wanted people to know that suicide is a serious national health problem in the U.S., but there is help."
About 1 million people attempt suicide each year, and someone dies from suicide every 18 minutes, according to AFSP estimates. At least 90 percent of people who commit suicide have diagnosable and treatable psychiatric illnesses, mental health experts say. Untreated depression is the leading cause of suicide, and more than 20 million people suffer from depression each year. Furthermore, suicide is the third leading cause of death among teens and young adults, the second leading cause of death for college students and accounts for 20 percent of deaths among people over age 65.
The AFSP Overnight brought together friends, family members and loved ones whose lives have been touched by suicide or depression, giving them a way to turn their heartbreak into hope.
For more information about the AFSP and suicide prevention, or to make a donation, visit www.AFSP.org.
Recognizing depression
Depression is present if at least five or more of the following symptoms are present during a two-week period; at least one of the symptoms must be depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities.
Depressed mood
Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities
Change in appetite or weight
Change in sleeping patterns
Speaking and/or moving with unusual speed or slowness
Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities
Decrease in sexual drive
Fatigue or loss of energy
Feelings of worthlessness, self-reproach or guilt
Diminished ability to think or concentrate, slowed thinking or indecisiveness
Thoughts of death, suicide or wish to be dead
Sometimes those contemplating suicide talk as if they are saying goodbye or going away. Be alert to such statements as, "My family would be better off without me."
Actions ranging from buying a gun to suddenly putting one's affairs in order can be warning signs. An increasing use of alcohol, loss of control, explosive outbursts or other self-destructive behavior also may indicate a desire to die.
In an acute crisis, the AFSP suggests taking a friend or loved one to an emergency room or walk-in clinic at a psychiatric hospital. Do not leave them alone until help is available. Remove from the vicinity any firearms, drugs or sharp objects that could be used in a suicide attempt. If these options are unavailable, call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800.273.TALK.
More information about suicide, depression and prevention is available at the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention website www.AFSP.org.
