The Willow Glen Resident Parents are abandoning kids and schools Deborah Taylor-Hollis When things go wrong we often try to blame someone--because frequently in the real world, someone did something wrong. And if you want things to come out right you need to identify that there is a problem, locate where the problem is, and then fix it. That's what blame-placing is all about. Our society does this very well. We have a whole court system whose job it is to do nothing else but place blame, both criminal and civil. We have critics of everything from restaurants to software to find out what's good, what's bad, and why. And we have the neighborhood loudmouths. I am a results-oriented person: I do not like to spin my wheels for the sake of watching the rubber burn. And that goes for my expectations of education as well. I see a system, I see what the end goal should be, and I want it to work well. I am very involved in this goal. I have looked into ways to evaluate the system, to see why we have so many people upset with our schools. When I looked at our test scores on the nation-wide scale, I protested. And the people responsible for educating our kids wrote to defend their moribund, even declining results. Educators do not like to be ranked. They do not like to be measured, and they do not like to be compared. Too bad. In the real world, that's what happens to everything except sunsets. Public Agenda, a nonprofit group, did a "reality check survey" and found some problems with low school expectations from parents in that academicians won't accept the validity of state rankings. I can't make anything better at our elementary school when more than 50 percent of the parents don't show up to so much as meet their kids' teachers; when more than 25 percent of the 700-plus students are bused in; when many families don't respond to any of the requests teachers send home; when PTA meetings have fewer than 50 people attending and family nights have fewer than 200. Parents have let the schools get this way. The very people who should care the most about education actually don't give a darn. Most of the parents at our elementary school aren't there. And they don't want to be, and they could not care less if their child shows up, learns anything, or just sits for the next 13 years. As far as I can tell, most of these adults look to public education as a babysitter for the eight hours a day that the adults are working, and if the child involved comes out smarter at the end, they don't care. Now, with a problem like that, it's no wonder that the active, involved, intelligent parents and the caring, underfunded, overwhelmed teachers all feel like the ship is hard to steer in the best of times and sinking like a rock on some days. I can see why our best students are pulled out of public schools and sent to private, high-intensity education centers. Their parents are tired of trying to get everything to happen without the help of more than one-half of the parents. How do you think a school gets great? The parents have to do it. If a classroom has lots of slow learners who need more help at home and don't get it, then class time will be spent on them, and there will be no time for the rest to excel or grow. If money has to be used to feed breakfast to kids because their parents won't feed them, that money isn't there for band. If the teachers feel pressured to perform with high test scores, but one-third of their class doesn't even speak English--well, is it any wonder the teachers get defensive? When the district handles all the big money, and there aren't concrete budgets, is it any wonder that academics say things like, "well, you can't quantify that with a dollar amount. ..." The bottom line is, for every parent reading this who gives a darn and who shows up at school, there are two more who haven't a clue--and don't want to get one. They won't help raise money for a sports program because they'd rather watch The Simpsons. They won't come to teacher conferences because they have to work but they can sure call in sick quick enough when they win a free weekend in Tahoe. I have spent years climbing on our educators backs--and I'm not climbing off here, they still hold incredible sway in a system that's damaged. But their abilities are hamstrung without good home follow-up. If you have a child in elementary school and you haven't volunteered for something yet this year--you're on my list. Get off your butt and take responsibility, or admit that you're just warehousing your kids. [ Back to Contents Page | Willow Glen Resident Home Page | Archives ] This article appeared in the Willow Glen Resident, January 27, 1999. ©1999 Metro Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved.