The Willow Glen Resident

Point of View

Deborah Taylor-Hollis

Parent-run preschool gives invaluable care

With so many parents now competing for so few child-care spaces, children are involved in preschool at ever-younger ages.

While most of these schools have open spaces, their monthly tuition can be staggering--more than equal to baby-sitting fees, often more than half a paycheck. They provide longer hours and more education, and, as is becoming the norm, they are regional or national chain franchisers of child care.

One alternative to traditional preschool is unavailable to the working parents of the valley, although it is plentiful, enriching and low-cost.

My monthly preschool fee is less than $100 for eight hours a week of quality social time, artistic exploration, educational information and even "child hands-on" snack-making.

My son gets three days a week to interact on a fantastic playground (complete with overhead rope slide), time with school pets, music teachers and monthly field trips where the larger world is not taught but absorbed. This preschool is not an option if you work full time because it is a parent co-op.

Our fees are low because parents run the school and oversee every aspect of its daily operation. We have two paid teachers, one of whom is our director and has been there more than 30 years. Everything else, from the board of directors to the bathroom monitor, is staffed by us moms.

We have our regular workdays in the classroom, with revolving assignments like art mom or playground monitor, cooking mom or teacher's helper. The co-op has been in business for 30 years; by now everything is clearly labeled and spelled out for us, and classrooms are open places where all parents are encouraged to come/stay/go and check in as often as they wish.

Even the most clingy parent soon cuts those apron strings for the first time once they've seen how well the kids interact with everyone, and know that other parents are always there. We all love our kids equally and can trust the other moms. It's one place I can guarantee my child will never be molested, assaulted or abused.

The very nature of a parent co-op changes the school's dynamics drastically. It's easy to deal with everyone since we have all "naturally selected" out people who don't handle commitment, refuse to share family time or are inherently selfish.

We all have the time to work, the ability to take responsibility and the need to be involved with our kids' daily lives. It's a common bond that cements the school and our mutual goals. These are the parents who will volunteer in public schoolrooms, run bake sales and carpools and work closely with educators in later years. Instinctively, we are telling our kids that education is very important.

I dread the day my son leaves the co-op for public school. Instead of 100 percent commitment from every family, there will statistically be only 5 percent of us who are involved in the PTA and extracurricular activities, and as classroom help.

There will be no more daily art projects with major parent assistance, no hand-sewn birthday hats to keep forever, no more mandatory monthly meetings of the whole class to work on the best ways for kids to love learning. I will never meet a good 50 percent of my son's kindergarten classmates' parents.

It will be a colder world, where there is no expulsion for the bullies and their rude parents, and where interaction with older, more sophisticated kids will include the words and actions we now deem "unacceptable."

Yes, this is an elitist attitude. I can afford to be elitist--I sure can't afford to repair my foundation, buy a new car or cook steaks. We made the decision to have a child and raise him ourselves, forsaking all but a minimal financial existence. We throw ourselves, not our money, at the problems and the solutions.

So here we are, with my son not even 5 years old yet, and I am mourning the passing of an era--our preschool years, when his social field contained the most committed set of parents and the nicest friends. We will never have this again, and our very lack of a two-income family precludes private school, the next step in personally guiding children's lives.

I am lucky that we live in Willow Glen, where I know that our kindergarten teacher will, in all likelihood, be very open to the help and support of a nonworking parent like me. The natural selection of living here also means I'll encounter more people who feel the way I do, even if they can't take time off work.

But I know there will never again be the individually sewn and decorated felt crowns for every child's birthday again. While my son's life expands, I am already experiencing the first creeping cynicism. We are growing up.

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