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Photograph by Skye Dunlap
Tunnel Vision: Kyle Cleland, 2, cuts loose at a Las Madres playgroup meeting at a McDonald's playground.
Mothers Helping Mothers
Las Madres playgroups are living proof of the proverb, 'It takes a village to raise a child'
By Sandra Louise
The scene at the "Campbell 1997" Las Madres playgroup Halloween party this past October is one any mother could look back upon with satisfaction.
Picture this: Everywhere, 2-year-olds are in constant motion. Some are riding tricycles. Some are playing with toys that are scattered all about. Some are having snacks. Several are bouncing with joyful abandon in the large jump house rented specifically for the gathering. As the children play, their mothers chat easily with one another while keeping a watchful eye on the tykes. Should one child trip and fall, the nearest mom doesn't miss a beat to check that all is OK.
This type of gathering is nothing new. Las Madres ("The Mothers") Neighborhood Playgroups are in full swing all over the county of Santa Clara, even spilling a bit over the county borders. Officially incorporated in 1992 as Las Madres Neighborhood Playgroups, the mom-and-kid group initially began in 1953.
"It began as an outgrowth of a childbirth class in Palo Alto," explains Amy Phillips Witzke, executive vice president of the organization. "Rennie Wilsnack was the nurse for the class. She encouraged the women to keep in touch, and it grew from that." The growth and level of organization from that time has been tremendous. As of last fall, the total number of active members was 1,300.
Las Madres playgroups are organized by birth year and location. For example, if you live in Willow Glen and your child was born in 1999, then you would want to be a part of Linda Yipez's neighborhood playgroup. One of the goals behind this arrangement is that children born in the same year will become friends, and because their playgroup is in their own neighborhood, they will most likely attend school together.
Creating a community for moms to share support and experiences is also a goal. In addition to the neighborhood playgroups, there are also activities offered for all the neighborhood playgroups for a given year. This includes not only events for the children, but also events featuring guest speakers for parents.
In December, the "Willow Glen 1999" chapter of Las Madres had its first holiday party.
"They just went bananas," laughs Linda Yipez, director of the Willow Glen group. "With 27 moms and 27 under-1-year-olds, the kids just went nuts. They were crawling all over each other, swapping toys, and it was just Cheerios everywhere."
Monica Flores-Mason is the new members coordinator for the Campbell 1997 group. When someone wants information, Monica fields the call. "Most women are looking for an outlet. They don't have a lot of friends that have kids, or they've recently moved here," Flores-Mason says. "For me, personally, I really needed to talk to other mothers about [things like] is your child teething, what's right and what's not right."
Christine Welsh-Buck, director of the "Campbell 1998" group concurs. "The group for me is creating a network and feeling a part of a community. Everywhere I've lived, I've known what to do because I had a job and I met people, but here I was now in Campbell being a stay-at-home mom and not knowing anybody." Yipez adds, "People often call us to say, 'Hey, I've got problems and things I don't understand. Do you have some feedback?' and that's really important."
But Las Madres playgroups are about more than children getting together regularly to play. Most groups have a Mom's Night Out, some have book clubs, craft nights, baby-sitting co-ops, email discussion lists, web pages, and the list goes on. It all depends on the interests and talents of the people involved.
Says Witzke of her "Santa Clara 1995" group, "We even had one night where we had a massage therapist come and give neck and shoulder massages."
Photograph by Skye Dunlap
Hole in One: Adam Wong, 2 1/2, explores his options on the jungle gym.
Many groups offer many of the same activities through the guidance of their Big Sister group. As a new group is forming for the new year, the group from two years earlier acts as its big sister. Yipez says that her group would never have thought of a baby-sitting co-op, let alone known how to organize one if it hadn't been for its big sister group.
"With their help, we've learned how to get a roster together, been given ideas as to where to look for a winter facility, and tips on what to spend the money on. Without those, we would be really lost, and now it's our turn to raise money to help the 2001 group."
Witzke explains that the structure was organized this way so that each group is not re-inventing everything. "At two years into Las Madres, groups are often at the height of their membership and the excitement of Las Madres. This way, Las Madres never ends. It's mothers helping mothers."
Support of one another is a theme that comes up frequently when talking to moms involved with Las Madres. Welsh-Buck describes the "Sunshine Mom" program. "We started this program in our group, and we're really proud of it because we have so many pregnant moms right now." Sunshine Mom is a post-partum food delivery program where members of the group take turns delivering a meal to a new mom.
Amy Witzke credits her group's Sunshine Mom with helping her through a rough patch. "When my daughter was seven months old, four days after Christmas, I had to have an emergency appendectomy. My Sunshine Mom came and spent the night at my house so my husband could be with me. Then she turned around and arranged for meals for several weeks. If I weren't a member of Las Madres, or some group where the mothers are helping each other, I would have been in bad shape."
The baby-sitting co-op is another popular program for a lot of groups. Says Monica Flores-Mason, "If I have a problem and need a baby-sitter, I'm really solid about the people to choose from and I really like that about this group of women. It's so nice because we're all helping each other out."
Once children in a playgroup are ready to start attending school, the group goes into alumni status. This doesn't mean, however, that members stop meeting. "My 1992 group is still meeting," Witzke says. "We have mom's night out nearly every month, but it's more for us now than for the kids." She goes on to tell of more stories of people maintaining strong friendships long after their children have grown.
"I can see clusters of friends who are going to remain friends no matter what," says Welsh-Buck of her 1998 group.
So with all this talk about moms, the obvious question is, what about dads and other caregivers? Increasingly, statistics show that a growing number of fathers and also grandparents are the primary caregivers of children during the day. Executive Vice President Witzke says, "We've had lots of grandmothers. In my own 1992 group, we had a nanny who brought the kids, and there are a sprinkling of fathers."
And stay-at-home parents or caregivers are not the only ones who participate. Las Madres also offers playgroups specifically for working moms as well as specialty playgroups for adoptive moms, single moms and "late bloomers" (those having their first child in their late 30s).
"I tell them it's real casual, come as you are, you don't have to dress up and you don't have to impress anybody. This is a place to be a parent and do the things you need," says Flores-Mason of what she tells first-time callers.
Witzke adds with a laugh, "My group met on Thursdays and that was my big day of the week."
Linda Yipez explains, "It got me out of the house as well as many others. It's one thing going to the park, but it's another thing going with people and having the kids interact with each other. It makes all the difference in the world."
Welsh-Buck sums up her feelings: "I'm very happy that we've been there and we've been a part of it. I know now that Molly will see kids in school that she knew from playgroup. We'll continue to discover things that we might not have known about, and that's going to be a lasting value."
For information on Las Madres Neighborhood Playgroups, visit the website at http://members.xoom.com/_XMCM/lasmadres/index.htm; email LasMadres@rocketmail.com; or call the Las Madres Volunteer Phone Line Recording at 408.265.4056.
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Willow Glen, California Since 1992
