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Behind the Bumper Sticker
By Moryt Milo
Many years ago, while being considered for jury duty, my mother had an interesting experience. The judge assigned to the case asked the perspective candidates if anyone in the group had bumper stickers on their car and, if so, what they said. One person queried the judge about why he was asking such an unusual question, to which he responded, "It says a lot about a person."
It's a story that often comes to mind when I end up waiting at a red light and find myself reading some sort of statement on a car's bumper, windshield, trunk or license plate. It leaves me wondering about the person in front. And we certainly have a diversity of ideas riding on the roads.
For example, there are a lot of drivers expressing emotion about various causes. Environmentalists have stickers with statements about saving the earth or endangered species. Pro-choice or pro-life advocates usually have very in-your-face statements about decisions and babies. Pro-gun drivers usually have stickers that support their NRA stance. These folks always make me a bit nervous. I often find myself giving those drivers some extra space. And then there are the people who drive around with old stickers for candidates in past elections. Those always look out of place to me. But I figure, hey, it's their wheels, so let their political beliefs roll on.
Then you have the people that don't have bumper stickers about causes but have stupid stuff stuck to their cars. This usually includes bad language. I figure they think it's cool, but I bet most of us think it's dumb. Apparently this annoys plenty of people because counter-attack bumper stickers show up with opposite responses such as "Good Happens."
The original bumper sticker concept can be still found on cars that let everyone know all the places they have visited. I suppose these free ads take up the rear, either because the vacationers had a really good time, or they just want people to know they do stuff. Some folks really get carried away with their journeys and thoroughly wallpaper their bumpers. Every time I see this, my first thought is, what a nightmare if they ever have to scrape that stuff off.
Some drivers let us know what school they went to or are currently attending. I figure that's because they either had a great experience or they want to boast. I always find myself wondering if the car and driver match my vision of the institution. So I can't help taking a peek at the driver, if I'm passing along side.
There are the music lovers with their favorite bands plastered everywhere. I confess, when it comes to these folks I'm biased towards any vehicle I see with a Deadhead sticker. It brings back a lot of good nostalgia. But it's rare to see a "Keep on Truckin'" bus in this valley. And on the flip side, I was never a heavy metal fan, so I don't really know what to think about drivers whose cars display skulls and death-like symbols.
There is also the rather benign stuff such as sporting logos and sayings. To which I admit, every time I see a license frame that says I'd rather be sailing or skiing or whatever, as I am stuck in traffic, I inevitably relate to that person's desire to be elsewhere.
All this psychology about bumper stickers brings me to the present, and my return trip home down Bascom Avenue after dropping my kids at school. There I was waiting at a light, reading a bumper sticker that was so perfect, I actually wondered if the light would stay red long enough so I could jump out of my car and ask the person where she had gotten it.
Normally, I like being anonymous and would never even consider putting anything on my car, but here I was reading a bumper sticker that said, " It's become appallingly clear that our technology has surpassed our humanity." I thought how appropriate that statement seemed to be for where we live. Thinking it was something recent and clever I was astonished to look again and see that it was attributed to Albert Einstein.
I hurried to scribble it down and moved over into the opposite lane to catch a glimpse of who was behind the wheel. It was a woman in her 30s. And although she never looked my way, I couldn't help smiling and wondering what that bumper sticker-conscious judge would have thought, if she'd come into his courtroom as a prospective juror.
Contact Moryt Milo via email at morytb@aol.com.
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Willow Glen, California Since 1992
