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Don't listen to the messenger
By Deborah Taylor-Hollis
Some days, I wish there was a way to put up a big metaphysical neon warning sign over my life that could be seen by anyone or anything coming near me. It would say, as succinctly as possible, "Don't send me any more messages."
I'm not referring to the messages left on my answering machine, such as the Police Athletic League trying to sell me discount coupon books. I'm not talking about the messages the school sends home in the Thursday folders, the Post-It notes on my correspondence or the stuff on the bulletin board. I'm talking about the messages that are sent out to society at large. I want them stopped. Most of them are lies, and all of them are less than the whole truth.
Weight experts say if you are heavy but healthy, you're fine. It's movement and exercise that counts, not your actual weight in pounds. Then, some self-righteous nut jumps up at a doctors' conference and tells the medical profession that they are not to promote this sensible factual information because it will "send the wrong message." We don't want our lazy, fat people weaseling out of getting thin.
Parents and school boards scream they want accountability and testing to prove kids are learning; then some schmuck from Harvard says we are "sending the wrong message" to kids who fail, possibly telling them that they are not worthy of success and giving them an excuse to quit school. He wants us to downplay the achievements society expects, so we, allegedly, will help the kids at the bottom of the academic stack.
The neighbors in a small community want a stop sign installed on a busy street, especially after a woman is killed crossing the two-lane street to get to the local park. The street is a feeder that connects two larger streets. It is clogged with bumper-to-bumper traffic in the early evenings and is used by careless commuters who frequently speed. The traffic department fights the stop sign because they claim it will "send the wrong message" to pedestrians that they are safe because there is a sign there. They fail to take into account that, once the sign actually STOPS a car, the pedestrian can then cross in relative safety, as opposed to standing on that busy corner for a couple of hours watching the traffic whiz past.
Heard enough? Every day you are being "sent a message."
No warning on that bottle of champagne? The message is that people will hurt themselves unless they're explicitly told not to point it at their faces. Personally, if you're that stupid you deserve to get nailed in the eye with a cork. But the safety industry says failing to print a warning label sends the message that it is OK to point the bottle at people when you open it.
If you tell students how their bodies work and what options are open to them, you are "sending the message" that they have to use that information. Knowledge is dangerous; but apparently ignorance will keep kids safe and healthy.
We now give drivers tests in any language requested, because we need to "send the message" that we are tolerant and respectful of other cultures. But those emergency traffic signs on the road are in English only. There isn't enough space to include more than one language. I guess not all drivers need to read those "Steep road next 5 miles; Open Trench; Sheer 200-foot Drop; High Winds" signs.
Juries have taken to using their decisions, not as an answer for the community over guilt or innocence, but as a "message" about how the prosecution, the defense or the police acted prior to the case arriving in court. Propositions are pushed onto the ballot so that, even though they never stand a chance of becoming law, a "message" will be sent to local politicians. When teenagers spread graffiti, some people actually claim it is "a message to the middle class about disenfranchised youth."
Sometimes, I like the old Greek idea of killing the messenger. He's sending me way too much junk lately, anyway.
Send messages to Deborah at DTHollis@metronews.com.
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Willow Glen, California Since 1992
