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Some people play games, some don't
by Carl Heintze
The world, alas, seems divided into two groups, those who play games and those who hate them. I seem to have fallen into the latter category.
This was brought home to me forcibly recently because for a couple of weeks I vacationed not on a desert island, but on an island with a group that loves games. They played them every night. Not only did they play them, they played the same games over and over again, games like 99, Spite and Malice, Butcuss (whatever that is, I was never sure) and so on.
I'm thankful they did not play bridge, another game I abhor, a choice which casts me into the dark pit of social disgrace, especially among the elderly who rate bridge right up there with golf, still another non-game so far as I am concerned.
I realize that being a non-game person not only flies in the face of social convention, it also is anti-American or at least anti-capitalist. For America was, after all, built on the bulwark of competition. Competing is good for business, for government, maybe even for your health. (Yours, not mine.) Or so it is alleged by the pro-game crowd which is the American majority.
As the late Vincent Lombardi, fabled coach of the then-fabled Green Bay Packers, is reputed to have said, "Winning isn't everything, it is the only thing."
But winning isn't everything. Somebody has to lose if someone else is going to win and, I think, that's the majority. Most people don't win or they don't win very often. Even in professional gambling, so much a part of American life, in the long run the house wins more often than the poor sucker who puts his or her money down.
I don't mean to imply that losing is great, but I do think that the constant effort to win everything every time is not only stressful, it is, in the end, just downright boring.
But that's what playing games is all about. And games, as professional sports, are a large, if not necessarily vital, part of our culture. Professional games are based on the premise that the best play the best and the very best win.
Alas, we can't all be Michael Jordans or John Elways. It's just that we think we can.
Indeed, there is a whole philosophy of business these days which is built on the gaming principle. Corporate executives don't work, they play to win. They are players, striving to come out on top, not to be among the losers in corporate profits.
This philosophy says that if you play the game well and properly, you'll win a large salary, stock options, whatever.
Well, maybe, but not necessarily. Not everyone gets to the finish line first. Not everyone reaches the top. I'm among those at the bottom or resting somewhere along the sidelines as the others push on to complete the 10K, the marathon or whatever. I have happily foregone the pounding away, the training, the strain of getting there first. The pack is all right with me, heretical though that may sound.
He who gets there with the most toys doesn't get to smell the flowers along the way.
I tried to convey this to the game players with whom I was imprisoned, but they just didn't get it. Because there's another thing about players. They can't understand people who don't want to compete. At first, they were simply incredulous that I had reached my GTL (my Game Tolerance Limit).
Then they became concerned. They thought I didn't feel well and began inquiring about my health, both physical and mental. Finally, they began cajoling me, trying to get me back in the game, somewhat nervously I thought, as if they had done something to offend me.
When I bowed out of the nightly go-around of three hours of playing Spite and Malice or whatever, I assured them I was OK, I just didn't like games and never have.
Relax, I tried to say. I don't care who wins. I don't even want to be the dummy at bridge. I'm content reading a book and watching the ocean. Play away without me; you'll be better off. Or better still don't play at all.
But my missionary efforts at making them non-players didn't get any further than their efforts at trying to get me back in the game. They couldn't fathom not wanting to win. They offered to teach me, holding, as most players do, to the belief that practice will make perfect, that lessons will teach one to be great, that par is beatable and you'll always improve your game.
So, there we were and I guess here we are, too. For if you're a player, as most of us are, and if you've read this far, I'm sure you're sure this guy is a dingbat. Why would he not want to play? Why would he not want to win? Why would he not want to get better and better at his game(s)?
All I can say is it's nice we had this dialogue, but it really hasn't gotten either of us very far, has it? You're out to reach the summit, to get the brass ring, to come out on top.
And I'm stuck here at the bottom of this piece, I'm resting beside the road, I'm looking, but not doing, I'm thinking, but not trying. And I don't care. I'm just not playing.
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Willow Glen, California Since 1992
