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Another Bearer of a Generational Torch Perishes
By Deborah Taylor-Hollis
As a mother, I thank God Jackie is dead. For her to have to live through this past weekend, the hours of unknown dread and the loss of the male heir to her and Jack's legacy of honorable service to one's country, would have driven her insane.
As a 42-year-old American, I cried a lot because another child I grew up with is gone. Sure, he didn't live on my block or go to my school, but every day of his childhood was around me. From that first horrible moment in 1963 when I was exposed to a public funeral and national mourning (and that photo of the little boy on the sidewalk, untouched by another human being as he saluted an ideal he didn't yet understand) right through the grief 33 years later when his iconic, beautiful, world-renowned mother died and we watched that same boy and his shy sister handle the crush of the world's snoops over her belongings and her legacy.
Her legacy is dead now--at least in bloodline and in name. Caroline will have to go on--an orphan without peer trying to lead a quiet existence. But Jackie's example, the one we all admire more than anyone else in the history of American females, lives on not only in the extended Kennedy clan (not one of whom can hold a candle to her élan, compassion or dignity) but in our own hearts. We learned from her just how a 20th-century First Lady should act, walk, talk and approach public service--and we have judged every First Lady since by Jackie's scale of perfect grace. We learned how a public funeral should be handled--and no one before or since has held themselves in more complete dignity while carrying so great a burden. I can't wait to see how other First Ladies do as our older ex-Presidents pass on, for they will all privately try to emulate Jackie's embodiment of the entire nation's mourning, the entire nation's pride.
John-John was the really nice rich kid we all knew, the one who was never spoiled by the fame, the pressure, the publicity. For all their money, he never for a moment fell under the egoist beliefs that his cousins did. When he did something wrong, he apologized and tried again. He never broke the law--or even gave the appearance of bending the rules. That's a great Kennedy family flaw that started with old Joe and was perpetuated by every blood member of the clan since--except for Jackie's kids. There isn't a single Kennedy who hasn't taken a few chances with the rules, skirted some issues or pulled a legal boner along the way. But
not her kids. The beautiful children grew up into truly beautiful people, pure enough to deserve our trust, kind enough to earn our love, devoted to public service enough to be given our respect.
We loved the parents, and because of this, we have extended our hearts to the children--but only so long as they tried to be the offspring of their great relations.
For many, they were John, Robert, Jacqueline. For my generation, the people just behind the tragedy, who grew up with the slogans and the dreams, they were closer--they were Jack, Bobby, Jackie and John-John. Nicknames reflecting a personal connection. No stranger disappeared in that plane on Friday, no John Fitzgerald Kennedy Jr. flew into history that night. Our childhood friend, John-John, went down out there. That is what spawns our national mourning. We have known him since that first public moment in his dad's office, and he still holds our hearts for all that he epitomizes.
Were it not for that funeral photo on his third birthday (another tragic irony that burdened his life) we might not remember how we wept when his father was killed. But every time we see that moment frozen in print, fresh tears spring to our eyes. He was symbolic of a raw wound in the country that never truly healed.
Now that our friend (or her son, depending on your age group) has disappeared forever, the circus will begin again. A new wave of nut cases will find "conspiracies" to explain the plane crash, and to tie the father's death to the son's. Others will point the finger of power and corruption toward the Kennedys, claiming they got what they deserved. But before those hateful rumor mongers get a chance, let's all take a long moment. Another torchbearer is gone, another bright shining hope has gone dark on the horizon.
Please contact Deborah Taylor-Hollis at DTHollis@metronews.com.
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Willow Glen, California Since 1992
