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Photograph courtesy of Cookie Curci
Family Tradition: The Willow Glen Guardino family celebrated their son Jason's graduation from medical school with his lifelong friends Robert Lipscomb and Michael McKieman. Here, the graduates stand next to their proud fathers.
Remember When
Family traditions encourage family ties
By Cookie Curci-Wright
Most of the important things I've learned in life-about caring, giving, strength and reliance, I've learned from my family. They have taught me valuable life lessons.
I've learned that as long as we have family, we can do anything we set our mind up to do. Family stands behind us and offers unconditional love like no one else in our lives.
Through the years, family structure has changed, especially in my Italian-American household. For example, the all-important Sunday dinner, which was ritual at one time, has slowly begun to fade with fewer and fewer family members continuing to uphold these weekly gatherings.
Family members shared a special bond of loyalty to one another, we were close-knit and could always be counted on; grandparents would pinch our cheeks and ruffle our hair and squeeze us in a robust hug, until we squirmed away from their mighty grasp. Now, I would give the world for just one of those hugs-just one of grandma's warm embraces.
To the Italian American family the Sunday dinner was a tradition. The head of the table belonged to the head of the family. Papa sat there keeping a watchful eye on the kids. Grandma was always seated next to him, closest to the kitchen. The children were seated all around the table in order of their age. Like obedient little soldiers the grandchildren sat in rapt attention in their chairs. If an argument erupted, papa had only to bang his fork on his dish and say the Italian words: "A basta" (that's enough) and the dispute was over. When grandpa spoke, the family listened; anything else would be a great show of disrespect.
Traditionally, to the Italian family, the dinner table and the food set upon it are more than just cooking and eating, they're love and pride and great anticipation. Many of my happiest childhood memories are somehow connected with meals. I remember, fondly, the food served on grandma's table, the heavenly aromas and the anticipation.
There are twenty-five million Italian Americans in the United States and most likely 25 million different definitions of what it's like to be Italian American. It all depends on our family traditions, the area of Italy our families originated from and how loyal we are to our beliefs and rituals.
I didn't appreciate family moments and heritage when I was younger, because, like most people, I had other things to claim my attention, but when we get older, family memories and culture become important to us.
In recent years, I've become concerned about the dissipating family structure, fearing that traditions and old-world ways are fading from modern day culture. That is, until recently, when I was invited to the home of Dick and Antoinette Guardino to celebrate the graduation of their son Jason from medical school.
Jason graduated from the Western University of Medical Science at Pomona. His life long pals, Robert Lipscomb and Michael McKieman also celebrated their graduation that day from San Jose University. The three boys' friendship began when they met in kindergarten and has endured through the years. Michael is a computer web based programmer for Yahoo Corporation and Robert is studying to be a mechanical engineer.
I was pleased to have been included in the celebration, but I was even more pleased to discover the wealth of old-world charm and tradition that abounds in this Italian- American household.
Walking up the pathway to the front door, I was greeted by a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I pressed the doorbell and was pleasantly surprised to hear the door chimes ring out the old-world Italian tune, "The Tarantella."
When the door opened, the welcoming aroma of simmering tomato sauce wafted through the air, surrounding me like a warm hug. My cousin, and chef for the day, Dick Guardino, was busy at the stove stirring huge kettles of his homemade tomato sauce while pans of sausages and bell peppers sizzled in his kitchen ovens. The kitchen bustled with family members socializing with guests and working together to prepare a traditional feast.
I quickly lined up with the other party guests, elbow to elbow, at the long buffet table and happily mounded pasta in my dish and splashed on ladles of tomato sauce, meatballs and cheese. I sampled the grilled sausages, chicken and green salads. It was good to be with people, like myself, who remembered eating fish every Friday and the love that grandma put into making her homemade pasta for Sunday dinner.
Theresa Guardino, the family matriarch, expressed her family's love of traditional foods this way: "Food and tradition are an important part of my family's daily life. We love the taste and textures and the aroma of well-prepared foods. Creating homemade pasta from scratch, with your own hands, is one of the last great family food rituals."
With five adult children in the Guardino household, there's always an occasion for an impromptu get-together. Theresa, the eldest, was recently married with all the traditional celebrating and festivities; Joe, a firefighter in Sacramento, brings his friends home on weekends for Sunday dinners; Christina is a busy doctor with a thriving chiropractic practice in Willow Glen and younger sister Gina teaches history at Santa Clara high school. Both girls stop by the family home regularly, and Jason, the youngest, is living at home until he begins his residency and internship at the Cleveland clinic foundation.
As the celebration drew to a close and a hot afternoon lengthened into a warm, silken May evening, I sat contentedly reminiscing with family and friends of those indelible patterns of our past, patterns that though they may change over the years, somehow gracefully stay the same.
Contact Cookie Curci via email at cookiecurci@mymailstation.com
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Willow Glen, California Since 1992
