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Clinical depression must be treated
By Deborah Taylor-Hollis
I have had a hard time lately, and friends joked that "blonde's disease" struck me last year--the inability to keep anything in my short-term memory systems. No offense to blondes. Along with needing to write daily lists that include "wake up," I found myself forgetting names, important dates-even information while people were giving it to me!
Unfortunately for me, a little memory loss was not the only thing that was happening. Along with some deliberate weight loss, I was also having days when I didn't want to do even the most cherished chores or long range plans, and began taking no joy from hanging out with my son. My hobbies became unfocused piles of "responsibilities" to handle. Sleep cycles suffered as I stayed up later trying to catch up.
So finally, after all my friends pushed and my family gently waited, I pulled up some important information off the web.
"Clinical Depression" has a special name because it is not just "feeling bad" all the time-as a matter of fact, it is the lack of feeling "bad"-but always knowing that tears are right behind the eyes. This type of depression can include restlessness, uncontrollably weeping episodes with no reason (I am particularly vulnerable to Mother's Day cards and anything with little boys), and irritability, along with being unable to make up your mind or focus on decisions.
The American Psychiatric Association lists some of the criteria for clinical depression as a depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, by a markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or most, daily activities most of the day, nearly every day, as well as significant weight changes, insomnia or hypersomnia (sleeping too much), and feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt nearly every day, amongst a host of other signals.
The National Mental Health Association claims more than 19 million Americans suffer from clinical depression. I know for a fact that it is easy to fall into this chemical imbalance and its slowly deteriorating effects. I probably went from sad bereavement to this deeper loss of pleasure from life in general when both my mother and my father in law died within 70 days of each other, leaving me overwhelmed and feeling alone and bereft. It is not grief, it is persistent grief that can drain away all the joy in life.
Research shows that death or bereavement is not the only way depression can steal into your life. Job losses, disappointments, other medical disorders and chronic pain over time can all be precursors to depression.
Once I identified my deeper problem and started talking about it out loud, other friends came forward and confessed the same heavy feelings--some thought it was nothing more than "baby blues" even though it lasted years past when their babies were born. Two other good friends have experienced the loss of a parent and felt the impossible tasks of putting away their parents' lives were too much for them-but in the depths of their pain, they had no way to assess their own deeper sorrows and see that they were not grieving-they were deeply depressed. From my own experience, I can hazard a good guess that being unable to go to the family house for more than, oh, say six months to clean it out is probably a sign that you aren't just "kind of sad." Feeling desperately overwhelmed for a week or two is normal when loved ones pass away. Feeling that same avalanche of responsibility burying you for a year is-well, excessive is probably a kind way to say it.
So what do you do? Well, if you follow my poor example, you yell at your family for a year, wake up already crying several times in a row, and find yourself driving Highway 1 through Santa Cruz on moonlit nights so often you need a trawling permit from the local fishing guild. You keep a running counter of how many seconds, minutes, hours, and fortnights have passed since your beloved died, and you do the math about how old mother was when her mother died, and how much time they had and how old you will be when you die in relation to it. And you cry when you can't find blue Jell-O for the Fourth of July jigglers.
Or, contact your doctor, or the NMHA. Tell them you want screening for depression, and want a support group referral for your feelings. Women in particular will be discouraged by some doctors, but persistent demands to be heard, and you need to be persistent, even in this hard time. New drugs are out all the time that do not add weight or steal sleep, and they are getting cheaper as their exclusive patents run out.
Contact Deborah Taylor Hollis at dthollis@metronews.com.
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Willow Glen, California Since 1992
