The Willow Glen Resident

Pity those poor tiny goldfish

By Mary Ann Cook

How can one living organism--goldfish--embody both the least and most valued symbols of our society? At one end of the status scale are the ones that are plump and expensive--koi, to be exact. They command one of the largest outlays in the garden: Those who stock koi reap status, a moving testimony that their owners have arrived.

On the flip side of fish petdom are the tiny versions, coveted and tended by the children among us. Considered a perfect training ground for pet ownership, goldfish are wantonly put in the care of any child in the land old enough to voice a longing for one. They are easily domesticated, don't have to be housebroken and, under most circumstances, don't bite.

They only require a bowl, some water and minuscule amounts of food. Well, sure, it's nice to have a castle or two for those who want their pets to have a taste of higher living, but these subtleties are optional.

What isn't optional is what happens next: The caretaker's enthusiasm wears itself out, and woe to the water-bound. In early pet ownership zeal, the fish may be overfed to the point of explosion, but as the weeks wend on, the wet one will be forgotten and soon die of neglect.

To show just how low goldfish are in the ultimate scheme of things, think back a few years--to the 1970s, perhaps.

In those freewheeling and bizarre days, goldfish were found in the heels of plastic, see-through high heeled shoes. How on earth did that particular product get past the watchful eyes of the SPCA?

These fish were less than an inch long, and perhaps more than one was encased therein. But you had to wonder what possible felony those fish had perpetrated to have led to such certain death?

And what happened to those tiny beings once they died? Were people painfully aware the wearer was coming before her entrance? Nothing presages an arrival more uniquely than the aroma of dead fish.

Though fish heels as fashion may be long gone, goldfish as a fashion statement are still in. Now they're appearing as table decorations at weddings and other festive occasions. A fortunate few are taken home as favors.

All of that is worrisome enough, but you have to wonder about another offshoot of this spurious custom. Can the practice of goldfish swallowing be far behind?

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