Beasley is among a fast-growing number of men who have bucked the traditional male role in order to stay home with their children while their wives become the breadwinners.

According to the data from the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of children who have stay-at-home dads has jumped 70 percent since 1990, to 2.5 million.

Peter Baylies, president of the At-Home Dad Network in Andover, Mass., estimates that about 2 million men across the United States are acting as their children's primary caregivers.

Art Margolis, coordinator of Silicon Valley Dad's Group, said he believes the actual number may even be higher because many men are reluctant to "come out."

"I am a full-time At-Home Dad—three words, all capitalized, " Margolis said proudly. He has even created a business card with the job title of "At-Home Dad."

Margolis quit his job as a service director eight years ago when his son, Jake, was born. He organized the Silicon Valley Dad's Group to "combat isolation and talk about guy things." It has 45 members.

"I want to tell all at-home dads: Come out of your caves and join us," Margolis said.

Robert Frank, author of The Involved Father, conducted a 1996 survey of 368 American men spending more than 30 or more hours with their children per week. The survey showed that the top four reasons men chose to stay at home were: not wanting to send their children to a daycare center; the wife made more money; the wife wanted to work more; and the husband had the greater desire to stay home.

Beasley fit the profile. The 39-year-old father didn't want to send his children—Scott, 9, Emily, 8, Kim, 7, and Wendy, 3—to daycare.

"There's nothing more important in the world than spending time with them," Beasley said. He is now coaching two soccer teams in which Scott and Emily play.

Quitting his job had little impact on the family's financial situation. His wife, Jill, is vice president of information technology at the American Electronic Association, the nation's largest high-tech trade association. Jill's salary was more than three times larger than Matt's.

For six years, Jill had worked only three days a week to take care of their children while Matt worked full time. But her supervisors wanted her to work more.

"Work is easier for me, and there is a lot of responsibility in my job," Jill said. "I reached a point where I either had to work full time or I had to find another job so I could take care of the children."

Contributed photograph Family Pride: Matt and Jill Beasley are shown here with their four children, (from left) Kim, 6, Wendy, 2, Emily, 8, and Scott, 9.

"It allows me to handle my career," Jill said. "I couldn't do the job I am doing now without Matt."

During the past four years, Jill has moved up the corporate ladder, being promoted from director of database management to her current position. Matt mops, cooks, gardens, does laundry and drives the children around in his van, which has a plate that reads "Love our Mr. Mom."

"Most men don't understand the work involved in the house," Matt said while cleaning leftover pizza and soda cans on a picnic table in his backyard.

"Nothing you do is permanent. After you clean the house, it will be messy in two hours. It's repetitive work. With children you are on call all the time."

Beasley said that preparing three meals a day is his biggest challenge.

"It is a nightmare," Beasley said. "You can't feed them pizza and hamburgers every day." He took pride in his latest dinner, chicken casserole and meatballs.

Otherwise, housework is easy for Matt, who shared chores with Jill even when he worked full time.

However, one of the hardest issues for the outgoing father is isolation.

"I used to have a lot of friends to joke around with," Beasley said. "But now if I hang out with the same mom every day, people will talk."

On three occasions, Beasley said, the husbands of his good mom friends forbade their wives from going out with him.

"I felt hurt," Beasley said. "We were just good friends. There isn't much social support for stay-at-home dads."

He was also criticized by some moms for being too casual with his children's safety when they saw Wendy ride her Razor scooter.

"I told them Wendy could ride when she was only two because I allowed her to try different things," Beasley said. "Most moms would think it is too dangerous."

But gradually, Beasley established his reputation as a professional at-home dad. His mom friends visit his garden often to get tips on growing roses. His spacious backyard with tire swings and a fort, is one of the neighborhood children's favorite hangouts. He also holds a margarita party every two months, inviting stay-at-home parents and their children to have a good time in his backyard.

But not all at-home dads feel comfortable about socializing with other at-home parents.

Willow Glen resident Bob Lloyd, 49, quit his job in 2000 to take care of his daughter, Emma, after working for Stanford University Press for 23 years. He said he finds it hard to hang out with other at-home parents.

"I think it is gender-related," Lloyd said. "And it takes a lot of work to get things arranged."

So Lloyd spends a lot of his time reading with Emma, 9. Lloyd and Emma read to each other, which gives her an opportunity to enhance her vocabulary. They just finished the Harry Potter series and are now reading Lemony Snicket's Ersatz Elevator.

"Emma, what does 'ersatz' mean?" Lloyd asked. "Misleading or fake," Emma replied. Lloyd nodded with a smile.

Lloyd takes turns with his brother-in-law, Jean-Philippe Roussel, another Willow Glen at-home dad, taking the children to their gymnastics classes and soccer practice.

Roussel also feels awkward about joining a play group with other at-home parents.

"I don't have a lot of friends, but being friends with women is weird for me," said Roussel, 36.

Roussel received his bachelor's degree in computer science from San José State University in 1995. He didn't try to find a job because he wanted to build a house with his own hands and take care of his eldest daughter, Ali, who was two years old at the time.

His wife, Nancy, supported his decision.

"If that is what he really wants to do, I should let him do it," said Nancy, an orthodontist.

After seven years, Roussel completed their two-story house on Cherry Avenue. He proudly shows visitors the kitchen cabinets he installed and the newly carpeted floor. The Roussels have since grown into a five-member family with the birth of two more children—Kate, now 7, and Michael, 6.

Nancy said their children are more independent because they spend more time with her husband.

"Having time with dads is different from being with moms," Nancy said. "Dads tend to challenge them a little more."

Another Willow Glen at-home dad, Doug Dowhan, agrees.

Dowhan said he always challenges his 8-year-old daughter, Brittany, and pushes her to her limits. Brittany is in the gifted and talented program at Booksin Elementary School.

"I don't just give her a straight answer," Dowhan said. "I ask her questions."

Dowhan took an early retirement package in 1999 after working for Chevron Corp. for 20 years.

"I miss the intellectual stimulation of grown people," Dowhan said. "But I would never trade the time I spend with her. I want to mold her into a good person."