They range from stay-at-home fathers to those who work from home to dads who are employed full time. They are rolling up their sleeves to change messy diapers or warm late-night bottles of milk in exchange for smiles and approving coos from their children.

Three years ago, Willow Glen resident Stuart Moore became an accidental stay-at-home father after he was laid off from his software quality engineer job. Today, he sees it as an unexpected gift.

Watching Kekela, his 3 ¹/2 year-old-son, grow from an infant into an independent toddler has been priceless, says Moore, who also has a 2-month-old daughter, Kamaka.

"I feel I've gotten to know him so much better," he says. "Children grow up very fast and it's been great watching him change and grow."

While stay-at-home fathers were virtually unheard of years ago, it is not unusual to hear of fathers trading the fast lane for diaper pails these days, Moore says. He sees fathers playing bigger roles in childcare as a natural outcome of women joining the workforce.

"If you're working full time, whether you're a man or woman, and you're expected to cook, clean and look after the children, it's really difficult," Moore says. "Women have been demanding that men play a bigger role in bringing up the children, and I don't think they should expect less."

On top of taking care of their children, Moore also splits the housework with his wife, Tofoi Yandall-Moore, a biotechnology consultant. He does dishes, goes grocery shopping and at times, helps out with the cooking. When he's not busy running errands, Moore spends his days playing with Kekela in the park or taking trips to the Children's Discovery Museum or Happy Hollow Park and Zoo.

Moore says his special relationship with his son can be attributed to finding time to talk.

"We talk a lot about animals and how the world works," Moore says. "He asks questions that are beyond his grasp, like if an elephant could lift Mount Everest."

Moore sees a psychological shift in the parenting paradigm. Fathers today are expected to have a higher level of interaction with their children, as compared to past generations where fathers basically "went out to work, came home and laid down the law."

"I am lot more touchy-feely with my son than my dad was with me," Moore says. "I ask him questions like 'Does that make you feel sad?'"

Moore believes this style of parenting has paid off when he hears Kekela say what he likes most about his father: "Just being at home with Daddy."

Tuning in

Keith McCabe is a Willow Glen father who believes in being emotionally in tune with his children. A stay-at-home father to 3-year-old Ethan; and two daughters, 9-year-old Kylie and 6-year-old Emily from his first marriage, who live with him part-time, McCabe thinks fatherhood has become more demanding emotionally than it was to 20 to 40 years ago.

"My grandfather was emotionally distant to his children. When I talk to my dad, we talk about cars, the weather, homes and jobs," he says. "With my daughters, I ask, 'How does this make you feel? What do you like about the behavior in your friends?' It requires more emotional involvement."

McCabe took on the parenting challenge full time when he was laid off from a high-tech start-up in August 2002. McCabe focused on the value of spending time with his children and now maximizes every minute he has with each one of them.

When his ex-wife moved to Willow Glen, McCabe moved from Sunnyvale to the neighborhood so he could be closer to the girls. He recalls seeing very little of Emily from the time she was born until she was 3 because he worked a 70-hour week at the start-up.

"I'm repairing and augmenting the relationship now," McCabe says. "I see Emily almost every other day. I volunteer in her classroom, go to picnics. I'm the PTA dad."

He's also making up for lost time with Kylie, his eldest, tapping into her interests such as Harry Potter. "We put together a Harry Potter newspaper 'The Daily Prophet' occasionally," he says. "We write articles and put in pictures. That's something special we share between us."

Spending quality time with each of the girls has drawn them closer. Kylie confides in him when she has problems and says she likes "talking to Daddy and reading with him."

With Ethan, McCabe says, the journey has been incredible.

"Each day we go on adventures," he says. "Moms are about comfort and dads are about entertainment. It's still his mom that puts him to bed, but it's dad that wrestles with him and gives him his horseback ride across the floor."

The role reversal has also made him appreciate a mother's job all the more. After experiencing a 24-hour day as a full-time parent, he called up his ex-wife one day to apologize.

"I told her I had no idea how hard it was staying home with the kids and also being expected to do other things like prepare dinner and doing the laundry," McCabe says. "It was enlightening for me to understand how it all works."

Though he never expected to become a full-time father, McCabe says it "turned out for the better." However, being a full-time father also has its unique challenges.

"There are days I crave talking to adults," McCabe adds. "There are times I feel if I hear Barney's voice one more time, I'm going to go off the deep end."

Unlike stay-at-home mothers, fathers who chose to stay home don't have a community in place where they can meet and socialize as a group.

"You do get a little cold shoulder feeling when you go to the parks," Moore says. "There's the assumption I'm just doing the 'weekend dad thing.' A lot of the moms don't go out of their way to talk to the fathers but maybe women are just more comfortable talking to other women."

Putting their careers on hold also means a financial penalty. Both men are grateful to their wives for bringing home steady paychecks with health benefits and--even more--for allowing them the privilege of watching their children grow.

"We're not well-off, but it's satisfactory," McCabe says. "We make enough to live in a manner we are happy with. We can provide for the children's education and buy them what they need. It helped crystallize what was important."

Provider and caregiver

Rick Guptill is one father who enjoys the best of both worlds--the privilege of staying at home with his two children while employed as a work-from-home software developer. The situation allows him to exercise his creativity.

Guptill is not letting the experience go to waste. When his son, Charley, 12, and daughter, Annie, 10, come home from school in the afternoon, he spends time helping them with their homework, watching movies together and helping them with projects that include building castles, an electric scooter or submarines.

"When they come home from school, I'm right here," he says. "I drive them to activities and do more of the day-to-day things like cooking meals."

Every year, he also makes time for the YMCA adventure guides family program, going away for a weekend with each of his children individually to foster a closer relationship.

"They are like my close friends," Guptill says. "Like your friends, you know everything about them."

Guptill is also a firm believer in volunteering at schools. He helps out with the Willow Glen School Foundation projects. His wife, Kim, is the foundation's current president. He assists the Willow Glen High School's robotics team and coaches his daughter's soccer team.

"It is a great way of getting involved in your children's lives because your children spend a lot of time there," he says.

For him, the best reward has been getting to know his children better.

"From my perspective, the children are only here for a short time," Guptill says. "I put a lot of value into spending time with them and sacrificing time like working on home projects. It doesn't matter if we don't have a good-looking yard or the cleanest house. I'll have a lot of time in the next 10 years to work on that when they go to college."

Guptill understands that not every father has the luxury of working from home but adds that making time for children is important.

"When you spend more time with them, you build stronger relationships," he says.

This is a view that Willow Glen father Fred Schorr holds close to his heart. "The role of the father should be about being active in your child's life, whether you're living with them or not," he says. "Our job as a parent is to mold, shape and guide them. You have to make that choice."

Despite having a demanding job as a teacher at Chaboya Middle School in the Evergreen School District, Schorr ensures he spends quality time with each of his three children, Katie, 13, Sarah, 10 and Andrew, 9. Like his father, who used to cook for him, take him on vacations and participant with him in sports, Schorr tries to be the same "interactive dad" for his children. "I help them with schoolwork, sit with them at dinner and have a conversation with them about their day."

When Sarah picked up guitar playing, he got her to teach him also, so he could spend one-on-one time with her.

In an increasingly complex world, fathers play an equally important role as mothers in helping children find their way, Schorr said.

"I hope fathers are getting more involved in their children's lives. It helps them to have a better sense of themselves. It's a benefit to have both influences."

These men's efforts at embracing added parental responsibilities have not gone unnoticed by their wives, who sang their praises.

"I'm glad I live in this generation," Mary Schorr says. "Fred's a great example of current fatherhood. He helps with the kids, cooks and cleans the kitchen. I don't know how many men would do that."

Tanya Blansett, McCabe's girlfriend, says Ethan has gotten a lot out of having a stay-at-home father.

"I see Keith being more playful with him than an over-protective mom like me would ever be. He's able to run and play and be more independent."

McCabe's sacrifices are "immeasurable," she says. "He could have stopped it anytime and gone back to work when the economy turned around but he chose to sacrifice his career. I love him all the more for that."