Willow Glen Resident

Letters & Opinions

When parents know they got it right

By Moryt Milo

The text message was simple and clear, "Go! I'm Fine."

I looked out my car window one last time, as he stood there on the high school steps. Then I drove off.

My son was waiting to go inside for a series of academic challenge tests to help determine what classes he would take come fall. I foolishly figured that he might want me to stick around a bit longer until the school opened the front doors. It was quite apparent by his message that my lingering was not necessary.

So with my youngest entering high school in September and my daughter talking about colleges back East, the dramatic shift that's about to occur in my family is beginning to sink in. Just a few more years before the home that houses four will only have two full-time occupants.

I should pat myself on the back and consider it a job well done. Two children who are comfortable in their own skin, at least at the moment. Two young people who are ready to leave their familiar surroundings, journey into that sea of humanity and discover a world that no longer includes mom and dad on a daily basis.

Every parent knows this is what's in the cards.

When their children are small, it's a time that often can't come soon enough. Those days that never end, on call 24/7. What parent hasn't finally dropped into his or her bed dreaming of the golden days of unscheduled time, impromptu decisions or a long, hot uninterrupted shower.

Then, somewhere along the way, preschool becomes grade school and grade school morphs into high school. And while all this is happening your child goes from being just that to a young man or woman. Stroller rides and jumping in puddles become driving lessons and prom dresses. Children you read and sang nursery rhymes to are discussing SAT scores and towering over you. With each change, a new level of independence is achieved, until one day, that child is actually your friend and your relationship has shifted so subtly it takes you a bit by surprise.

But that's when you know that somehow you got it right. You figured it out, without any rules, without any directions; you did it by the seat of your pants.

Of course, in the process of being a parent, we're given some important ingredients-- a splash of common sense, a bucketful of patience, a ladle full of friendly advice and a dash of luck here and there. If we get it just right, our kids truly benefit. I believe most of us do.

This weekend I saw it firsthand when the kid who once thought of me as the most brilliant person in the world and the only one worthy of sharing his lunch waved me off with a smile that said, "I'm OK. You can leave now."

The problem was, in that split second, I became the one who had a hard time letting go.

Moryt Milo is the editor of the Willow Glen Resident. She can be reached at 408.200.1051 or via email at mmilo@community-newspapers.com.