Willow Glen Resident

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Photograph by Vicki Thompson

Team Learning: Mother's Day is times two for Kaaren Smith, whose 12-year-old identical twin girls Katie (left) and Morgan see it as business as usual. The family tree has a history of twins.

Mothers have twice the love with twins

Twins support club aids the early years

By Mayra Flores De Marcotte

Mother's Day for some women means double the flowers and double the smiles. That is certainly true for Kaaren Smith, who has 12-year-old identical twin girls.

Smith and other mothers who have given birth to twins discovered early on that a good support system was critical to keeping them sane. The Gemini Crickets Parents of Multiples provides just that through support, services and health advice, and organizing play dates often at public parks.

Mothers who are still pregnant also appreciate the club because members can relate to their unique pregnancies. Raising twins, triplets or more is a tough job, a major challenge, and mothers need lots of support from each other, as well as help from the outside.

Smith says it is this type of support system that is critical, especially in the beginning.

Smith joined the club when she was about six months pregnant and was an on-and-off member when her children were younger.

"Being able to talk to other mothers and share stories was very helpful," Smith says. "Hearing their stories about their pregnancies and their current schedules was reassuring."

The first couple years, the Smiths didn't travel far from home. Those early years were trying, she says. The family didn't go to restaurants or take weekend trips.

But the Smiths were fortunate to have a great deal of family support.

"Our family wouldn't take over the children; they would take over the everyday chores and let us bond with the girls," the mother of two says.

Along with helping out with the household chores, her family would bring over dinners and baby-sit the girls so that the couple could go out to the movies.

"In a way, it was easier raising twins because they could entertain themselves," Smith says. "There are way more benefits than negatives."

Campbell resident Michele Ladd concurs. She is a mother of 10-year-old girl twins and can attest to the benefits of being part of the club.

"Playgroup and coffee days are used as an opportunity for child-rearing discussions as well as therapeutic sessions," Ladd says.

Ladd and her husband were excited when they found out they were having twins.

"It's such a miracle," Ladd says. "You see two of them. It's such a bonus."

Campbell resident Debbie Johnson, a full-time student at San José State University and a Santa Clara County sheriff's deputy, is the mother of 17-month-old twins, Trevor Scott and Cassandra Kelly.

"It's just nice to have someone else that has the same issues," Johnson says. "The club has guest speakers that talk about ideas on how to stretch your food. They have things like that to try to make your life easier."

Johnson appreciated the club and its meetings and functions but didn't solely rely on the group. There are four sets of twins in her husband's family.

"We had our own support network in the family," Johnson says. "It's fun to watch people bring their kids and get the culture shock of seeing so many twins."

For Smith, twins were not a total surprise, either.

"We have twins on both sides of our families and when we became pregnant, we were excited," says Smith, who lives in Willow Glen. "Having twins is special."

In the United States, there is a 1 in 32 chance a pregnancy will result in twins.

During the beginning of her pregnancy, Smith had early warning signs she was carrying twins.

"I was seven weeks along and had horrible morning sickness, so the doctor scheduled an early ultrasound because he felt there was a chance that there were multiple [babies]," Smith says. "We were actually looking for a third heartbeat, and I was relieved when he told us that there were only two."

Preparing for two children instead of one was difficult at first.

"We sold the car, the boat and changed our lifestyle a bit," says Smith's husband Craig.

Even so Kaaren Smith says, "I feel incredibly fortunate to have had both girls at the same time."

Campbell resident Jocelyn Leger is the mother of 6-year-old girl twins and was also part of the mothers' club. She says that things with twins are most hectic while they are still infants.

"The ability to run errands is gone after you have twins," Leger says. "Going to the grocery store was impossible, so I did Webvan instead."

Ladd agrees that the first years are the hardest, and all the women said that it's a misconception to think of twins as the same person.

"They are not a unit," Smith says. "They are two different people."

So for their birthdays, she and her husband purchase the girls two cakes.

"I want them to feel as unique as they are," Smith says.

Another thing that she avoids is calling her girls collectively "the twins."

Ladd says her girls dislike the term as well.

"We rarely refer to them as the twins," Ladd says. "Usually, it's family members that do."

Gemini Crickets Parents of Multiples meets at the Saratoga Library, 13650 Saratoga Ave. For more information, call 408.536.0811 or visit www.geminicrickets. org. For information about multiples, visit the National Organization of Mothers of Twins at www.nomotc.org.