Willow Glen Resident

Letters & Opinions

Every mom has bookends in her life

By Moryt Milo

My mother is 82. My daughter is 18. They make up the bookends of my life. In a perfect world, all three of us would spend Mother's Day together somewhere in a cozy boutique-style restaurant dining on all the foods fathers and husbands say never fill them up. We would enjoy our tea and a chocolate dessert and giggle about the past while dreaming about the future.

Yes, even at 82 my mom still dreams about the future, one where she sees her granddaughter having a wonderful life. I can hear her now saying to my daughter, "You should only have luck and happiness."

My daughter would smile and graciously reply, "Oh, grandma."

And I, the one between the bookends, would look from mother to daughter and remember when I was one of those bookends. When I sat next to my grandma, and we talked about girlie things.

In a perfect world, the three of us would sit at our quiet table in the nook of the restaurant for as long as we wanted. We'd be in no hurry to leave, nowhere important to dash off to. No interruptions of any kind would disrupt our day. It would be our time, our moment together.

But my mother lives 3,000 miles away on the East Coast, and my daughter is bound for college in the fall. Maybe that's why this Mother's Day carries more weight, knowing future Mother's Days are about to morph into a phone call or card that will weave through three generations of women in my family.

We are about to reach that juncture in our lives where it's communication via Hallmark, the Internet or the phone.

Fortunately, I will still have one child at home to share the day, but that, too, will change in three years.

Eighteen years ago, as a young parent, this holiday had a completely different meaning for me. I saw it as my one day to myself, my chance to go out and cherish my alone time, at a cozy restaurant or coffeehouse where I could sit quietly at a table and read a book, sip some tea, enjoy a chocolate dessert that was my gift. There were no children in need, no distractions, nothing was hurried. I could stay as long as I wanted, which meant more than an hour of uninterrupted time. That was back then; today I see it differently.

As my children grew to need me less and our busy lives veered off daily in opposite directions, Mother's Day was a way to bring us together.

I think that might be the real purpose of this day: a chance for moms to hug their children and reaffirm their love, an excuse to have them around. I know that sounds downright corny, but so what? We don't have enough of that sappy stuff anymore. Everyone has just gotten too darn serious, and children are growing up too fast.

Mother's Day is the perfect time to be together. To find that cozy-style restaurant and share a meal, a dessert, a laugh and plenty of conversation.

This allows every mother to lean against the bookends in her life.

Moryt Milo is the editor of the Willow Glen Resident. She can be reached at 408.200.1051 or via e-mail at mmilo@
community-newspapers.com.